Bomb Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once there was were three guys that were standing at the top of a bilding. One had a knife, another had a brick, and the last one had a bomb. The first one dropped the knive off the building and then he went down and saw a little kid that was crying. He asked him why he was crying and the little boy said, "Somebody dropped a knife off the building and hurt my dog."
The next guy dropped the brick off the building then went down and saw a little girl crying. He asked the little girl why she was crying and she said, "Somebody dropped a brick and hurt my mom!"
The last guy dropped the bomb and then went down and saw an old lady laghing. He asked her why she was laghing and she said, "I farted and the house blew up!"

Thank you terrorist. First we have to take off our shoes because one guy in the history of flying had a bomb in his shoe. Couldn't security tell he had a bomb in his shoe? He had a size ten shoe on one foot and a Bozo the Clown shoe on the other.
Now we can't take liquids on planes which means that the pilots can't drink during the flight so-back to drinking as much as possible before takeoff.

If you do, here's a preview of the READ ME FIRST page
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Ever notice that most of these sheiks and clerics are either blind or missing an eye? This all goes back to the parents. When the clerics were children practicing bomb assembly, where were the parents to say, “Careful playing with that bomb, Nasser. It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye.”

This guy asks his friend,' If they were to drop THE BOMB right now what would be the first thing you would do?'
Second guy says,' I would screw the first thing that moved, what would you do?'
The first guy says,' I would stand very still for about half an hour.'

Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and nephews. However, she had relatives all over the country.
The problem was that no matter how much she enjoyed seeing them, she hated flying. No matter how safe people told her it was, she was always worried that someone would have a bomb on the plane.
She read books about how safe it was and listened to the stewardess demonstrate all the safety features. But she still worried herself silly every time a visit was coming up.
Finally, the family decided that maybe if she saw the statistics she'd be convinced. So they sent her to a friend of the family who was an actuary.
"Tell me," she said suspiciously, "what are the chances that someone will have a bomb on a plane?"
The actuary looked through his tables and said, "A very small chance. Maybe one in five hundred thousand."
She nodded, then thought for a moment. "So what are the odds of two people having a bomb on the same more...

There are three men a plane; an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman.
When each of them flew over their country they dropped an item.
When the plane flew over England, the Englishman dropped a rose; when the plane flew over Scotland, the Scotsman dropped a thistle, and finally, when the plane flew over Ireland, the Irishman dropped a bomb.(Yes, Irishmen are crazy!)
They then flew over all the countries again, but passing by where they dropped the items.
In England the rose had dropped in a bus station and a woman was weeping.
They asked, "Woman, why are you weeping?" She said in reply, "Well, the Lord sent me a rose but I'm allergic to them."
Next, they journeyed over to Scotland. In Scotland also the thistle had dropped in a bus station.
In the station a man was screaming and yelling. They asked the man, "Man, why are you yelling?" He answered, "Well, a thistle fell from the sky, but it landed in my more...