Bombs Jokes / Recent Jokes
Car bombs and a suicide bomber left at least 75 people dead and more than 100 wounded Saturday, the day former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein was executed for crimes committed during his rule.
At least 66 people were killed in car bomb attacks on markets in a Shiite area of Baghdad and the southern Shiite town of Kufa.
Residents have been shopping for the Eid al-Adha Muslim holiday, which started Saturday for Sunnis and will start Sunday for Shiites.
A new wave of car bomb attacks is scheduled on Monday for Sunnis and Tuesday for Shiites.
The first German serviceman killed in the war was killed by the Japanese (China, 1937), the first American serviceman killed was killed by the Russians (Finland 1940), the highest ranking American killed was LtGen. Lesley McNair, killed by the US Army Air Corps. So much for the allies.
The youngest US serviceman was 12 year old Calvin Graham, USN. He was wounded in combat and given a Dishonorable Discharge for lying about his age. (His benefits were later restored by act of Congress)
At the time of Pearl Harbor the top US Navy command was called CINCUS (pronounced "sink us"), the shoulder patch of the US Army's 45th. Infantry division was the Swastika, and Hitler's private train was named "Amerika". All three were soon changed for PR purposes.
More US servicemen died in the Air Corps than the Marine Corps. While completing the required 30 missions, your chance of being Killed was 71%.
Not that bombers were helpless. A B-17 carried 4 tons of bombs more...
The switch away from daylight savings time caused consternation among terrorist groups this year.
At precisely 5: 30 Israel time on Sunday, two coordinated car bombs exploded in different cities, killing three terrorists who were transporting the bombs. It was initially believed that the devices had been detonated prematurely by klutzy amateurs.
A closer look revealed the truth behind the untimely explosions. Three days before, Israel had made a premature switch from daylight savings time to standard time in order to accommodate a week of Slihot, involving pre-sunrise prayers. Palestinians refused to "live on Zionist time." Two weeks of scheduling havoc ensued.
The bombs had been prepared in a Palestine-controlled area, and set on Daylight Savings time. The confused drivers had already switched to standard time. As a result, the cars were still en-route when the explosives detonated, delivering to the terrorists their well-deserved demise.
Corruption has become an integral part of our life. A gentleman, after giving matrimonial advertisement for the proposed marriage of his daughter, went on to visit four applicants for better match-making. The first one he visited was a young lad working as a clerk in the Customs department. His parents told the visiting guest that their boy drew a salary of Rs. 1600 per month and an additional income of Rs. 2000 from' above'. The other boy visited was a clerk working in Excise and Taxation department. The boy got Rs. 1650 as salary and Rs. 2500 per month from' above'.
A similar explanation came from a boy's parents who was working as a clerk in B & R department: "Rs. 1600 as salary and Rs. 2000 from' above'." Last came the turn of an Army sepoy. "The boy is in the Army and gets Rs. 1500 as salary per month plus ration and leave travel free," was the reply of his parents. "What about the income from "above"?" the visiting guest asked. more...
Are Major Asteroid As Dangerous As Predicted? The Answer Arrives in 2003
London (SatireWire.com) — Disappointed after failing to take advantage of Earth's relatively near miss with a large asteroid on Monday, scientists today excitedly unveiled what they called an "asteroid chute" that they said will direct the next massive space object directly into Earth's path, where it can be studied more closely.
Scientists hope the redirected asteroid, now expected to strike Earth by June of 2003, will also settle a pair of long-running debates: Did an asteroid cause the extinction of the dinosaurs 65 million years ago? And what size must an asteroid be in order for it to render a planet uninhabitable?
According to Michael Banio of Great Britain's Royal Astronomical Society, asteroid "2001 YB5" passed within 375,000 miles of Earth on Monday, but it was still too far away for useful studies to be conducted. And because YB5 was not discovered until December, more...