Boob Jokes

Q.What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
A.We better get some support or people are going to think where nuts.

For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram.
"O.K," I said, "let's do it."
"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line,)
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooter's in a vice!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's vice-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless more...

For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts,
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them,
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My Doctor found a lump.
She ordered up a mammogram,
To look inside that bump.
"Stand up very close," she said,
As she got my boob in line.
"And, tell me when it hurts," she said.
"Ah yes! There, that's fine."
She stepped upon a peddle.
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate pressed down and down,
My boob was in a vice!
My skin was stretched and stretched,
From way up under my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's vice-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless more...

Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest
children?
A: Ask your mom.
Q: What is the quickest way to clear out a men's
restroom?
A: Say, "Nice dick."
Q: How do you know you're leading a sad life?
A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be
friends."
Q: What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus and
a yeast
infection?
A: An itchy, twitchy twat.
Q: Are birth control pills deductible?
A: Only if they don't work.
Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy
boob?
A: If we don't get some support soon, people are going
to think we're
nuts.
Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they make love?
A: Because they have cotton balls.
Q: Mom's have Mother's Day, Father's have Father's
Day. What do single
guys
have?
A: Palm Sunday
Q: Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
A: The closer you get to discharge, the better more...

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we dont get some support soon, people are going to think were nuts.