Boobs Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q. Why do women have boobs?
A. So men have something to look at while they are talking to them.

Q. Why do women have boobs?
A. So we have something to look at while we are talking to them!!!

A woman keeps asking her husband if her boobs are so small. "Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?" she asks.
The next day her husband buys her a mirror. Before bed, she always looks in the mirror and asks her husband, "Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?"
Finally he gets so annoyed that he says, "I know how to make them larger!"
"How?" she asks.
"Take a bunch of toilet paper and rub it in between your boobs."
"Well, how long does it take?" she asks.
"They should expand over the years," he answers.
"How did you know that?" she wonders.
"I dunno, but it sure worked for your ass, didn't it?"

Rules that guys wished girls knew..........
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see
if he can find the perfect present, again!
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and
monster trucks.
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like
every other cat.
9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not sport.
12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
13. You have enough more...

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, Put it down. 3. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her. 4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! 5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you do not want to hear. 6. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it. 7. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks. 8. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 9. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way. 10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear more...

A flat-chested young lady goes to Dr. Smith for advice about breast enlargements. He tells her, "Every day when you get out of the shower, rub the top of your breasts and say,' "Scooby dooby doobies, I want bigger boobies.'"She did this every day faithfully and after several months, it worked! She grew great boobs! One morning she was running late and she was on the bus when she realized she had forgotten her morning ritual. At this point she loved her new boobs and didn't want to lose them, so she got up right in the middle of the bus and said, "Scooby dooby doobies, I want bigger boobies!"A guy sitting nearby asked her, "Do you go to Dr. Smith by any chance?" "Why, yes, I do. How did you know?" "Hickory dickory dock"!

There is this couple, and the wife is very self conscious. She is always asking her husband if she is still pretty, if she is too fat, and if her boobs are okay. Well, one day she is standing in front of the mirror naked and asks her husband,' Honey, are my boobs too small?' No, honey, they are fine.' He replies.' Are you sure?'' Yes, but if you want to make them bigger, then why don't you try rubbing toilet paper between them.' So for the next couple of weeks the wife rubs toilet paper between her boobs several times a day. At the end of a couple of weeks she gets in front of the mirror again.' Honey, where did you get the idea that this toilet paper thing would work?' Well, you have been rubbing toilet paper between your ass all these years and that's getting bigger!'