Boost Jokes

Top Ways The Army Is Trying To Boost Recruiting
8. Military transport flights now earn you Delta frequent flier miles
7. Where else can you shoot guns and get awakened in the middle of the night by loud explosions besides New York, Chicago and Detroit?
6. Get rid of all those creepy "Richard Simmons Wants You" posters
5. Intelligence spy satellite may be used to watch television 24 hours a day
4. Superiors may now be addressed as "Dude"
3. Make it so every hand grenade has a creamy nougat center
2. Next mission: all-out invasion of Temptation Island
1. New slogan "Army of One" replaces "Hope You Like Scrubbing Latrines!"

Pig farmers have never done well in the United States. Most Americans prefer beef to pork. Hamburger is an American favorite but contains no ham. The porcine raisers were hopeful to see a significant increase in their business after the scares about health over beef, but most of the benefits had gone to the poultry and fish industries, Sale of ham and bacon remained virtually unchanged.
Because of this, The National Porcine Association hired a major Madison Avenue advertising firm to boost sale of pork products. They decided on an intensive campaign to saturate magazines television and radio with ads urging people to eat pork patties.
The campaign was given an extra boost when Congress was convinced to designate the second of February as the day when every family would be urged to eat pork sausage. That day would be celebrated nationally, of course, as. .. Ground Hog Day.