Borrow Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the man hands over the keys to new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything was checked and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The man replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15 more...

The man came home from work late again, tired and irritated, to find his 5 year old son waiting for him at the door.

"Daddy, may I ask you a question?"

"Yeah, sure, what is it?" replied the man.

"Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?"

"That's none of your business! What makes you ask such a thing?" the man asked angrily.

"I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?" pleaded the little boy.

"If you must know, I make $20. 00 an hour."

"Oh," the little boy replied, head bowed. Looking up, he said, "Daddy, may I borrow $10. 00 please?"

The father was furious. "If the only reason you wanted to know how much money I make is just so you can borrow some to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you're being so selfish. more...

I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek, and die on your lips. Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together. Can I borrow that quarter,' cause my mom told me to call home when I fell in loveWhat's wrong? You're looking a little sad and gloomy. What you need is some vitamin me. Are your legs tired?' cause you been running through my mind ALL day long. Are you lost?' cause it's so strange to see an angel so far from heaven. Is your father a thief?' cause he stole the sparkle from the stars, and put it in your eyes. (yo, watch out though, and be prepared with a snappy answer just in case she says' yes')Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you again? What's that in your eye? Oh... it's a sparkle. If I said you were an angel, would you treat me like the devil tonight? Can I see that label? I just wanted to know if you were made in heaven. Do you like raisins? How about a date? So... How am I doin'? I more...

A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the woman hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce, parked on the street, in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the woman returns, repays the $5000. and the interest which is $15.41. The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us, is why would you bother to borrow $5000? " The woman replied, "Where else in New York, can I park my car for 2 weeks for $15.00?"

Every time the man next door headed toward Robinson's house, Robinson knew he was coming to borrow something. "He won't get away with it this time," muttered Robinson to his wife. "Watch this."
"Er, I wonder if you'd be using your power-saw this morning," the neighbor began.
"Gee, I'm awfully sorry," said Robinson with a smug look, "as a matter of fact, I'll be using it all day."
"In that case," said the neighbor, "you won't be using your golf clubs, do you mind if I borrow them?"

Every time the next door neighbor headed over to Bob's house it was to borrow something and Bob was tired of it.
Looking out the kitchen window one morning, Bob could see him coming to the back door. "He won't get away with it this time," Bob said to his wife. "Watch this."
"Mornin' Bob," the neighbor said, "I was wondering if you were going to be using your circular saw this morning?"
"Gosh, I'm awfully sorry," Bob replied with a smug grin, "but I'll be using it all day."
"Well," said the neighbor, "in that case, since you won't be using your golf clubs, do you mind if I borrow them?"

Do you think I could borrow that dress sometime?