Borrow Jokes / Recent Jokes

This guy was stranded on a desert island with Cindy Crawford. He was cool, and he didn't make any moves towards her for several weeks.
Finally one day he asked her if maybe they could start up a physical relationship, so as to attend to each other's needs. Cindy said she was game, and a very nice sexual relationship began.
Everything was great for about 4 months. One day the guy goes to Cindy and says, "I'm having this problem... It's kind of a guy thing, but I need to ask you a favor." Cindy replied "Okay," and he says, "Can I borrow your eyebrowpencil?" Cindy looks at him a little funny, but answers, "Sure, you can borrow my eyebrow pencil."
The guy then says, "Do you mind if I use the eyebrow pencil to draw a mustache on you?"
Cindy is getting a little worried, but says "Okay." And so the guy draws a moustache on her.
Then the guy said, "Can you wear some of my guy clothing, I need for you to more...

The loan
Issy walks into a central London bank and says he`s going to America for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000.
For collateral, he offers his new Rolls Royce. The bank is satisfied and parks it in their secured underground garage.
Two weeks later to the day, Issy returns to the bank and repays the £5,000 plus interest of £9.41
The loan officer says inquiringly, "Sir, we were delighted to have your business but checking your credit, we learned you are a multimillionaire. Why ever did you need to borrow £5,000?"
"Where else in central London could I park my car for two weeks for £9.41

Always borrow money from a pessimist. They don't expect to be paid back.

A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the woman hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls Royce into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the woman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer approaches her.
''We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you were a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?''
''Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?''

A young man was having some money problems, and needed $200 to get his car fixed and road-worthy again. But had run out of people to borrow from. So, he calls his parents via the operator, and reverses the charge and says to his dad, "I need to borrow two hundred dollars." At the other end, his father says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, son, I think there may be a bad line."The boy shouts, "Two hundred. I need two hundred dollars!""Sorry, I still can't hear you clearly," says his father.The operator cuts in, "Sorry to butt in, but I can hear him perfectly."The father says, "Oh, good. YOU send him the money!"

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.
SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"
DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?" replied the man.
SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"
DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?" the man said angrily.
SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"
DAD: "If you must know, I make Rs. 100 an hour."
"Oh," the little boy replied, with his head down. Looking up, he said, "Daddy, may I please borrow Rs. 50?"
The father was furious, "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior."
The little more...

Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire?
Sure. Here you are.
Thanks - but half the pages are missing.
What's the matter? Isn't half a million enough for you?