Branch Jokes / Recent Jokes
Sardarji gets ready, wears tie, coat, goes out, climbs tree, and sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he does this.
Sardarji: "I've been promoted as branch manager."
Marrige Proposer praise the suiter. Bride's father questions the income and the job of the Suiter.
Marriage Propoer (Magulkapuwa): "What are you asking?
He has a top job and all others work under him. He transfers from branch to branch suprvising all tops!"
Bride's mother questions: "Is he a Bank Manager?"
M. Proposer: "He is even higher than that. He taps trees to make Toddy for top cash."
Marriage Proposer: Highly recommends the suiter. "She
is very pretty, musically inclind; enjoys in playing the Piano anytime."
Bride's Mother, "Apoi Pianota Gahanawnam, Aekaya Apata Apa......"
On September 4 1999 at 9. 30 a. m. Ron Guptey of N. S. W Australia went into hospital complaining of severe pain in the rectum area. The doctor on call examined him, he found severe swelling around the anus but was left puzzled because he had not seen such a thing before.
Two more doctors examined Ron but they too were left confused about what was happening. Through the day Ron's was deteriorating he had developed a fever and was suffering a lot of pain around his abdomen. The doctors gave pain killers but the symptoms worsened until 2. 57 p. m. when he lapsed into a coma and 2 hours later was pronounced dead.
An investigation was led to discover the reason of death. The body was placed in for a post mortem, traces of wood bark were found inside the rectal passage, but as the examination went further the doctor discovered about 3 or 4 black widow spiders in Ron's intestine.
The police had found a tree with a cut of branch along the side in Ron's back more...
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
There was a Sardarji who was running a business at Delhi with branch offices at Ambala and Amritsar. One day he decided to visit his branch offices, and boarded a night train. He kept himself awake till 2 a. m., and when the train reached Ambala at 2. 20 a. m., he was fast asleep and woke up only when the train reached Amristar. He was unhappy, but decided to visit Ambala on his way back to Delhi. Again he boarded a night train, and kept himself awake till 3 a. m., but when the train reached Ambala at 3. 30 a. m., he was fast asleep, and woke up only when the train was steaming into Delhi. This happened three to four times. He was either landing up at Delhi or at Amritsar, always missing Ambala by sleeping off. So naturally he got worried.
He narrated his problem to a close friend who said, "You are a rich man, so why don't you travel by 1st class. The coach attendant will wake you up, a little before Ambala, and you can travel in comfort." The advice was logical, and more...
A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree and with a deep sigh, started to climb. About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end. He turned and spread all four flippers and launched himself off the branch. On landing at the bottom in a pile of soft, dead leaves, he shook himself off, walked back to the bottom of the tree and with a sigh started to climb.
About an hour later, he again reached the very high branch, walked along, turned, spread his flippers and flung himself off the branch. Again, he landed on the bottom, shook himself off, went to the bottom of the tree, sighed and started climbing.
Watching these proceedings from the end of the branch were two little birds. Mummy bird turned to Daddy bird and said, "Don't you think it's time we told him he was adopted?"
A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree and with a deep sigh, started to climb. About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end. He turned and spread all four flippers and launched himself off the branch. On landing at the bottom in a pile of soft, dead leaves, he shook himself off, walked back to the bottom of the tree and with a sigh started to climb. About an hour later, he again reached the very high branch, walked along, turned, spread his flippers and flung himself off the branch. Again, he landed on the bottom, shook himself off, went to the bottom of the tree, sighed and started climbing. Watching these proceedings from the end of the branch were two little birds. Mummy bird turned to Daddy bird and said, "Don't you think it's time we told him he was adopted?"