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A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled. The farmer said, "That's once." A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer said, "That's twice." After a little while the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse. His brand new bride scolded him, "That was an awful thing to do!" The farmer said, "That's once."

A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled.The farmer said, "That's once."A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again.The farmer said, "That's twice."After a little, while the poor old horse stumbled again.The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse.His brand new bride yelled, telling him, "That was an awful thing to do."The farmer said, "That's once."

A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled. The farmer said, "That's once." A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer said, "That's twice." After a little, while the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse. His brand new bride yelled, telling him, "That was an awful thing to do." The farmer said, "That's once."

A man bought a brand new Grand Cherokee for 30-some thousand dollars with $400+ dollar monthly
payments. He immediately got hold of his friend and they went to do some male bonding. They went duck
hunting... and of course, all the lakes are frozen.
The two went to the lake with the guns, the dog, the beer and of course the new vehicle. They drove
out onto the lake ice and got ready. Now, they wanted to make some kind of a natural landing area for
the ducks, something for the decoys to float on. Remember, it's all ice and in order to make a hole
large enough to look like something a wandering duck would want to fly down and land on, it is going
to take a little more effort than an ice hole drill.
So, out of the new Grand Cherokee came the new owner, the friend, the dog, and a stick of dynamite
with a short, 40-second fuse. Now these 2 Rocket Scientists did take into consideration that if they
placed the stick of dynamite on the ice at a more...

This was written by William Keaton, and originally published in "MIND", the newsletter of Indianapolis Mensa beck in 1993. It was reprinted in the national (American) "Mensa Bulletin" this month. And now, with the usual apologies to Clement Moore. ..' Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a computer was stirring, not even a mouse.
The hard drives were left on in each computer case
With a database for Santa, punched up in dBase.
The hackers were all snug asleep in their beds,
While visions of access codes danced in their heads.
And I with my PC and Ma with her Mac,
Had settled in for a long winter's nap.
When up from my modem there arose such a squeal,
I jumped from my bed and said, "What's the deal!!?!?"
To my computer I tore like a flash,
Hoping I wasn't suffering a Christmas Eve Crash.
A flashing green light on the front of my case,
Showed late-night activity (I more...

A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled.
The farmer said, “That’s once. ”
A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again.
The farmer said, “That’s twice. ”
After a little, while the poor old horse stumbled again.
The farmer didn’t say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse.
His brand new bride yelled, telling him, “That was an awful thing to do. ”
The farmer said, “That’s once. ”

What brand of underwear does Monica Lewinsky wear?
President's Choice.