Brand Jokes / Recent Jokes

Pasadi........................... Prashad
Sufuria......................... Saucepan
Sano.............................. Snow
Tikert........................... Ticket
Egg-joss........................ Exhaust
Fota............................... Photos
Lipti.............................. Lipstick
Phast............................. Fast
Pholowur..................... Flower
Gilas.............................. Glass
Palty.............................. Party
Gorment....................... Goverment
Peeja.............................. Pizza
Peejot............................ Peugeot
Fhanta........................... Fanta
Punch............................ Sponge
Booth............................. Car Boot
Kittli.............................. Kettle
Boota.............................. Boots(shoes)
Winda............................. Windows
Winbly............................ Wembley
Die more...

There was a little old lady standing at a corner. She had both hands holding her hat on while the wind blew her dress up around her waist.A dignified southern gentleman came up and said, "Ma'am, you should be ashamed of yourself, letting your skirt blow around, being indecent, while both hands hold your hat."She said, "Look mister, everything down there is seventy years old; this hat is brand new!"

A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled. The farmer said, "That's once."A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer said, "That's twice."After a little, while the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse. His brand new bride yelled, telling him, "That was an awful thing to do."The farmer said, "That's once."

Four men got together to play golf one sunny morning. As they were heading out to the course, one of them was detained by a phone call. The other three were discussing their children while walking to the first tee.
"My son," said one proudly, "has made quite a name for himself in the home building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He`s so successful, in fact in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift."
The second man, not to be outdone, boasts how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. "He`s so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave a friend two brand new cars as a gift."
The third man brags that his son has worked his way up through a stock brokerage firm, and has become so successful that in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift.
As the fourth man arrives more...

IDIOTS AT PLAY... A TRUE REPORT HEARD OVER THE RADIO...

A guy buys a brand new Jeep Grand Cherokee for $30, 000 and has $400+
monthly payments. He and a friend go duck hunting and of course all the
lakes are frozen. These two guys go to the lake with the guns, the dog,
the beer, and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the lake ice
and get ready. Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area
for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on. In order to make a
hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck would fly down
and land on, it is going to take a little more effort than an ice hole
drill. So, out of the back of the new Grand Cherokee comes a stick of
dynamite with a short, 40-second fuse.

Now these two Rocket Scientists do take into consideration not to place
the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location where they are standing
(and the new Grand Cherokee), more...

Felix parked his brand new Mercedes outside his favorite sporting goods store and went in to do a little perusing with his regular saleswoman, Janice.
Janice, a pretty blonde, happily greeted Felix when he entered the store. However, Felix asked to look around alone before he needed her help. She obliged and let him to do his thing.
A few minutes later, a frantic Janice came running up to him yelling, "Felix! Felix! I just saw someone driving off in your brand new car!"
"Oh no! Did you try to stop him?" exclaimed Felix.
"No," Janice replied, "I did better than that! I got the license plate number!"

A blonde bought a brand new car and decided to drive down from some place far off, to meet this friend. She reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, she decided to return, and called up her mother to expect her in the evening. But she didn't reach home in the evening and not the next day either. When she finally reached home on the third day, her distraught mother ran and asked her what happened? She got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "These car designers are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!"