Breast Jokes / Recent Jokes
God created woman, and she had 3 breasts. He said to the woman, "Is there anything on you that you'd like tochange?" She said, "Yes. Could you get rid of this middle breast?" God snapped his fingers and it was done. She exclaimed, holding the third breast in her hand,"What am I going to do with this useless boob?" And God created man.
And God created woman and she had 3 breasts. He then asked the woman,' 'Is there anything you'd like to have changed?''
She replied,' 'Yes, could get rid of this middle breast?'' And so it was done, and it was good.
Then the woman exclaimed as she was holding that third breast in her hand,' 'What can be done with this useless boob?''
And God created man.
A woman and a baby come into the doctor's office. She is taken into an examining room and waits for the doctor. After arriving there, the doctor examines the baby, and finds him not gaining much weight and asks the woman, "Is he breast fed or on the bottle?"
"Oh. .. he is breast fed!", replied the woman.
"Well then, strip down to your waist," orders the doctor.
She takes off her top and bra and sits on the examing table. The doc starts pressing, kneading and pinching both breasts for quite a while in a very detailed and thorough examination.
The doc motions to her to get dressed, then the doctor says: "No wonder this baby is so hungry. You don't have any milk!"
The woman with a wry grin on her face responds: "Well of course I don't." "I'm his aunt - but I'm sure glad I brought him in!"
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out.
A policeman approaches her and says, “Ma’am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure? ”
She says, “Why, officer? ”
“Because your breast is hanging out. ”
She looks down and says, “OH MY GOODNESS! I left the baby on the bus again! ”
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'm, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a womanbeside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. Theyare both quite startled.The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft asyour breast, I know you'll forgive me."She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."
Online computer users often engage in cyber sex. However, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does...
Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-
36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me? Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm more...