Breast Jokes / Recent Jokes
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally
prepared for the test.
And best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in your home.
EXERCISE ONE:
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold
that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough.
EXERCISE TWO:
Visit your garage at 3 AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.
EXERCISE THREE:
Freeze two metal bookends over night. Strip to the waist. Invite a more...
And God created woman and she had three breasts. God then asked the woman, "Is there anything you would like to have changed?"
"Yes," the woman replied. "Could you get rid of this middle breast?"
And so it was done.
Holding the third breast in her hand, the woman exclaimed, "What can be done with this useless boob?"
And God created man.
A young couple left the sex therapist's office determined to develop more effective body language.
"Alright," said the husband, "when I want sex, I'll rub your right breast. When I don't want sex, I'll rub your left breast."
"Okay," said the wife, "What should I do then?"
"Well, when you want to have sex," he told her, "rub my penis once. When you don't want any sex, rub it 200 times."
And God Created Woman. And She was Good. She had 2 arms, 2 legs and 3 breasts.
And God asked the woman what she would like to have changed about herself. She asked for her middle breast to be removed. And it was good.
She stood with her third breast in her hand and asked God what should be done with the useless boob? And God created Man!
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there's no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam, and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared. And you can do this right in your own home! Exercise 1Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds (while you hold your breath). Repeat again, in case the first time wasn't effective enough.Exercise 2Visit your garage at 3 am when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat for the other breast.Exercise 3Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a more...
A young couple left the sex therapist's office determined to develop more effective body language."Alright," said the husband, "when I want sex, I'll rub your right breast. When I don't want sex, I'll rub your left breast.""Okay," said the wife, "What should I do then?""Well, when you want to have sex," he told her, "rub my penis once. When you don't want any sex, rub it 200 times."
And God Created Woman. And She was Good. She had 2 arms, 2 legs and 3 breasts.And God asked the woman what she would like to have changed about herself. She asked for her middle breast to be removed. And it was good.She stood with her third breast in her hand and asked God what should be done with the useless boob? And God created Man!