Breast Jokes / Recent Jokes

A girl fell in love with a sailor and had his picture tattooed
on her right breast. The romance waned. In due time, she fell
in love with a soldier and had his picture tattooed on her left
breast. This romance also waned.
Sometime later, she fell in love with a marine and married him.
That night when they were undressing for bed he began to
laugh. She asked, "What in the world is so funny?" He said,
"Oh, I'm just thinking what long faces those two guys are
going to have in about ten years from now."

There was a gentleman living in a small village who unfortunately had
a stomach disorder that required him to drink the milk of a nursing mother.
Well there weren't too many women in the village nursing babies and even fewer
who would agree to allow a grown man to suck on their breast. But lo and
behold, the poor man finally found a rather buxom young girl who recently had
given birth who was willing to help him out -- for a price. The man was
desparate because his condition was growing worse, so he agreed to pay the
woman the amount of money she demanded. After all, the woman had a new born
baby to care for and the father had abandoned them to their fate.
The first day was a bit awkward as the man showed up and, with a bit
of anxiety and embarrassment, leaned over and began to suck on the woman's
breast. Well weeks went by and the awkwardness began to fade.

One day, the woman realized that the man's sucking was more...

While standing at the hotel lobby desk, waiting to ask the clerk a question, the man's elbow accidentally hit the breast of the woman standing next to him.
"If your heart is as soft as your breast, I'm sure you'll forgive me," the man said.
"Well if your prick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 532," the woman replied.

Hearing on the radio news this morning that Florida intends to
amend its indecent exposure law to allow mothers to breast feed
their babies in public, I was reminded of the following joke.
In times past in Ireland, hookers used to identify themselves by
walking the streets with one breast exposed. Usually fairly late
at night. However one morning, a woman gets off a bus and proceeds
to walk down the street with one breast uncovered.
She's only walked a short distance when a man yells at her:
"*WOMAN* - MAKE YOURSELF DECENT!"
She gets a rather bemused look, and then realisation slowly hits
her: "Holy Mary - I must have left the baby on the bus!"

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out.
A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
She says, "Why, officer?"
"Because your breast is hanging out."
She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"

A woman and a baby come into the doctor's office. She is taken into an examining room and waits for the doctor. After arriving there, the doctor examines the baby, and finds him not gaining much weight and asks the woman, "Is he breast fed or on the bottle?" "Oh... he is breast fed!", replied the woman." Well then, strip down to your waist," orders the doctor. She takes off her top and bra and sits on the examing table. The doc starts pressing, kneading and pinching both breasts for quite a while in a very detailed and thorough examination. The doc motions to her to get dressed, then the doctor says -"No wonder this baby is so hungry. You don't have any milk!"The woman with a wry grin on her face responds..."Well of course I don't." "I'm his aunt - but I'm SURE GLAD I brought him in!"

A man is in a hotel lobby and wants to ask the clerk a question. As he
turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside
him and his elbow pokes her in the breast. They are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your
breast, I know you'll forgive me."

She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."