Bride Jokes / Recent Jokes

A middle-aged businessman took a young woman half his age as his wife. The fantasy of having a young woman in his bed soon became a nightmare when he found that he could not last long enough to satisfy his young bride.
His wife, as understanding as she was exciting, told him that all was well even if he was quick to get out of the saddle.
Determined to satisfy this sweet young thing, the man visited the doctor to get some advice.
"Doctor, I can't seem to hold back for very long when I make love to my young wife and I can't satisfy her. What can I do?"
The doctor smiled, patted him on the shoulder, and said in a professional manner, "Try a bit of self-stimulation before having intercourse with your wife and you'll find that you'll last longer and ultimately satisfy her."
"Okay, Doctor. If you think that will help."
Later that afternoon, his young bride called him at work to let him know that she would be attacking him at the front more...

A middle-aged businessman took a young woman half his age as his wife. The fantasy of having a young woman in his bed soon became a nightmare when he found that he could not last long enough to satisfy his young bride.His wife, as understanding as she was exciting, told him that all was well even if he was quick to get out of the saddle.Determined to satisfy this sweet young thing, the man visited the doctor to get some advice."Doctor, I can't seem to hold back for very long when I make love to my young wife and I can't satisfy her. What can I do?"The doctor smiled, patted him on the shoulder, and said in a professional manner, "Try a bit of self-stimulation before having intercourse with your wife and you'll find that you'll last longer and ultimately satisfy her.""Okay, Doctor. If you think that will help."Later that afternoon, his young bride called him at work to let him know that she would be attacking him at the front door when he arrived more...

On their wedding night the new couple are just about to do the deed when the wife tells her new husband that she has a confession." I lied when I told you I was a virgin. I have been with one other man" she tells her new hubby. The new husband asks if it was anyone he knows?. The wife answers. .. well maybe! Husband asks who it was. The wife answers - it was Tiger Woods. Since the only other person his new bride every slept with was the famous Tiger Woods, he's not at all upset and they get down to it and do the honeymoon "thing". When finished, the husband gets out of bed and reaches for the telephone." What are you doing?" asked his bride." I'm calling for room service. After all that work I'm hungry!"The wife says, "Tiger wouldn't do that." "Really! Just what would TIGER do?" says the husband. Well we would do it again! Ok says the husband and jumps into the bed. This same thing happens two more times, after which the guy more...

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So, why's the groom wearing black?"

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place' the prison' and call my private thing' the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born more...

Smaller or larger tuxedo
A friend got married and I, being the best man, decided a humorous practical joke was in order. One of the duties of the best man is to make arrangements for the pick up and return of the groom’s tuxedo.

After final fitting, rent an extra coat jacket that is either three or four sizes smaller or larger than the groom’s. Explain to the tux shop what you’re up to. Pick up the groom’s fitted coat, switch with the extra rented coat, and deliver to the groom only when it becomes time to actually get dressed.

The friend of mine wore a 42 long, but the one I provided was a 38 short. Talk about some serious fun! Don’t reveal that you know anything as long as possible.

Write on the bottom of shoes
Someone once took a large black ink marker and wrote “Help” on the bottom of the groom’s left shoe and “Me” on the bottom of the right shoe. So when he knelt down for his vows, the entire congregation saw it. Of more...

-It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
-They have come up with a perfect understanding. He won't try to run her life, and he won't try to run his, either.
-He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding, he plans to quit his job.
-After the wedding ceremony was over, a little girl asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another."
-They had a dispute about a night out with the boys. But, he finally decided to let her go.
-He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."