Bride Jokes / Recent Jokes

A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the bride for the first song.

Well, this happened... but then they danced for the second song too.

And the third. By the time the fourth song came on, the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs.

A riot broke out, and all the invited guests were hauled off to jail.

In court the next week, the judge asked the best man what happened.

''Your honor, we were just dancing, and the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs.''

''That must have hurt,'' said the judge.

''No kidding,'' said the best man.' 'I broke three of my fingers.''

The story begins in a Colombo suburb. The mother was very concerned that her middle-aged son has not shown the slightest indication of getting married. So one day she called her son to her house.
The son came home from work, grudgingly. Upon arriving, he found that his mother had gathered a few beautiful ladies at the house for him to choose as his future bride.

The first one was a well-endowed telephonist-cum-receptionist. He immediately commented that: "Aiyoo amma, they always say.... PLEASE HOLD ON. .. HOLD ON........"
The second nominee was a leggy secretary. This was rejected also. Reason being: "Aiyoo... amma, secretaries are always fond of Saying "PLEASE SLOW DOWN. .. SLOW DOWN...."

By this time, the mother is nearing frustration. She called a sweet but plain-looking teacher. The son suddenly agreed!!
The mother was surprised and asked, "Why this one? The previous two were a lot better looking!"
He more...

Preeto was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black nighty and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle. Well, her mom forgot until the last minute. So she dashed out and could only find a short pink nightie. She bought it and threw it into the suitcase.
After the wedding the bride, Preeto and the groom, Banta, enter their hotel room.
Banta was a little self-conscious so he asked his new bride, Preeto to change in the bathroom and promise not to peek while he got ready for bed.
While Preeto was in the bathroom, she opened her suitcase and saw the negligee her mother had thrown in there.
She exclaimed, "Oh no! It's short, pink, and wrinkled!"
Then her groom cried out, "I told you not to peek!"

Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.

Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle? She knows shes given her last blow job.

If any of you guys out there have ever thought you have balls, forget about it. This is a true story that happened at a wedding at Clemson. This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests (for you rich folk, this is huge by middle class standards)

After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride and groom's families for coming.

To thank everyone for coming and bringing gifts and everything, he said he wanted to give everyone a gift from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair was a manila envelope. He said that was his gift to everyone, and told them to open it. Inside the manila envelope was an 8x10 picture of his best man having sex with the bride. (He must have gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired a private detective to trail more...

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place' the
prison' and call my private thing' the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a more...