Bride Jokes / Recent Jokes

If any of you guys out there have ever thought you have balls, forget about
it. This is a true story that just happened at a wedding at Clemson.
This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the
reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd.
He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long
distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank
the bride's and groom's families for coming.
To thank everyone for coming and bring gifts and everything, he said he
wanted to give everyone a gift from him.So taped to the bottom of everyone's
chair was a manila envelope. He said that was his gift to everyone, and told
them to open it.
Inside the manilla envelope was an 8x10 picture of his best man having sex
with the bride. (He must have gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired
a private detective to trail them.) After he stood there and more...

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom. The other the groom broom. The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.
After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride broom leaned over and said to the groom broom "Oh honey, I think I'm going to have a little whisk broom..."
"That's IMPOSSIBLE!!" exclaimed the groom broom.
"WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER YET!!!"

After their love-making session the young bride asks her husband "Wasmaking love to me really the same as making love to Marilyn Monroe?""Yes, she's dead to!""Was making love to me really the same as makinglove to Marilyn Monroe?""Yes, she's dead to!"

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon.
When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.

"Well, how was the honeymoon?" asked the mother.
"Oh mamma!" she exclaimed. "The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic!"

No sooner had she spoken the words than she burst out crying. "But mamma. . . as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language. He's been saying things I've never heard before! All these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... please mamma!"

"Now Sarah. . . " her mother answered. "Calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words has he been using?"

"Please don't make me tell you, mamma." wept the daughter.
"I'm so embarrassed! They're just too awful! You've got to come get me and take me home... please mamma!"

"Darling, baby, you must more...

A lawyer got married to a woman who had previously been married 12 times.

On their wedding night, they settled into the bridal suite at their hotel and the bride said to her new groom, "Please, promise to be gentle. I am still a virgin."

This puzzled the groom, since after 12 marriages, he thought that at least one of her husbands would have been able to perform. He asked his new bride to explain the phenomenon. She responded:

My first husband was a Sales Representative who spent our entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms,' It's gonna be great!'

My second husband was from Software Services; he was never quite sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he would send me documentation.

My third husband was from Field Services and constantly said that everything was diagnostically OK, but he just couldn't get the system up.

My fourth husband was from Educational Services, and he simply said,' Those more...

A groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar and the best man notices that the groom has the biggest, brightest smile on his face. The best man says,' 'Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up - you look so excited.'' The groom replies,' 'I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me.'' The bride comes walking down the aisle and she, too, has the biggest, brightest smile on her face. The maid of honor notices this and says,' 'Hey, girlfriend, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up, you look so excited.'' The bride replies' 'I have just given the last blow job of my entire life.''

A wedding occurred just outside Cavan in Ireland.

To keep tradition going, everyone gets extremely drunk and the bride's and groom's families have a storming row and begin wrecking the reception room and generally kicking the shit out of each other. The police get called in to break up the fight.

The following week, all members of both families appear in court. The fight continues in the courtroom until the judge finally brings calm with the use of his gavel, shouting,' Silence in court!'

The courtroom goes silent and Paddy, the best man, stands up and says,
' Judge, I was the best man at the wedding and I think I should explain what happened.'

The judge agrees and asks Paddy to take the stand. Paddy begins his explanation by telling the court that it is traditional in a Cavan wedding that the best man gets the first dance with the bride.

The judge says,' OK.'

' Well,' said Paddy,' after I had finished the first more...