Bristol Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Maude: What in the hell is that?
Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Maude: Where did you get it?
Mabel: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.
"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a BRISTOL."
The pharmacist fainted.

Back in November, the Huffington Post reported that Sarah Palin could get $7 Million Dollars to write a book.
Skipping the obligiatory Write-a-book?-I-didn't-even-know-she-could-read comment, I do wanna say that I think this is pretty short-sighted. I don't care about Sarah Palin's story, because we already know it. I'm tired of her story already, and I have no interest in hearing it in her own voice. It'd probably sound a lot like Huckleberry Finn - except with twice the tits, three times the racism and none of the biting social commentary.
No...Sarah Palin's isn't the story to be published. Bristol's is. Bristol's the one with the story - especially after her interview on Fox News.
It's the classic narrative, and it's one that every woman can resonate with even more so than Mrs. Golly G. Shoot-a-Moose over there.
How My Mother and a Boy F*cked Up My Life - By Bristol Harley Davidson Palin.
If you think Oprah won't fall over herself to endorse that, then I've got more...

Bristol Palin, the 18 year old daughter of Sarah Palin, visited the Today Show this morning with her baby son Tripp and her father Todd to promote the Eighth Annual National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy.
Apparently Sarah Palin wanted to be there but she was off promoting the Eighth Annual National Day to Prevent Incompetence.

Sarah Palin said she could see it coming from a mile away.
In an interview last month, Sarah Palin described Bristol's fiance as a "hands-on" dad. If Internet rumors are to be believed, he now has his hands on another woman.

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's teen daughter Bristol has called it quits with Levi Johnston. The Governor, who said she has no ill feelings toward Levi, referred to him as a Maverick, a trooper, and one hell of an actor.