Bruce Jokes / Recent Jokes
Knock KnockWhos there! Bruce! Bruce who? I Bruce easily, dont hit me!
Three Rednecks were working on a very tall tower - Steve, Bruce and Jed. Steve falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."
Jed says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser.
Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Jed?"
"Steve's wife gave it to me," Jed replies.
"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?"
Well, not exactly", Jed says. "When she answered the door, I said to her,' You must be Steve's widow'."
She said, "No, I'm not a widow."
And I said, "I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are"
"Golf has more rules than any other game, because golf has more cheaters than any other game. -- Bruce Lansky
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"On a recent survey, 80 per cent of golfers admitted cheating. The other 20 percent lied." -- Bruce Lansky
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"I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser." -- Arnold Palmer
Bruce comes home one day and says to his lover, "Please do me a favor. It feels like something's stuck up my ass. Could you check it out for me?" His roommate lubes up his finger (mercifully) and shoves it up Bruce's ass, feeling all around, and says, "I don't feel anything."
Bruce says, "Trust me, there's something up there. Try lubing up your whole hand and checking it out." So his roommate lubes his whole hand and sticks it up Bruce's ass. He feels around, and then pulls out a Rolex watch.
He says, "I found your problem. There was a watch stuck up your ass." Bruce starts singing, "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you..."
Q: What is Bruce Lee's favorite vegetable?
A: Mu Lee Q: What does Bruce Lee like to have for lunch?
A: Tha Lee Q: What happens to the theatre once a Bruce Lee movie is over?
A: Kha Lee Q: What is Bruce Lee's sister-in-law's name?
A: Saa Lee Q: Bruce Lee's favorite breakfast?
A: Id Lee Q: Bruce Lee's favorite festival?
A: Diwa Lee Q: Bruce Lee's favorite Actress?
A: Sona lee Q: Bruce Lee's favorite Music?
A: Qawa lee Q: What is Bruce Lee's favorite film?
A: Coo Lee Q: When did Bruce Lee die?
A: Final Lee Q: How did Bruce Lee die?
A: By a Go Lee Q: What is Bruce Lee's favorite hill station?
A: Kulu Mana Lee Q: Who made this profile?
A: MALYA LEE
At a World Brewing Convention in the United States, the CEOs of various brewing organizations retired to the bar at the end of each day's conferencing.
Bruce, the boss of Fosters, shouted to the barman,
'in 'Strailya, we make the best bloody beer in the world, so pour me a Fosters, cobber.'
Rob, chief of Budweiser, calls out,
'In the States, we brew the finest beers of the world, and I make the king of them all. Give me a pint of Bud.'
Hans steps up next,
'In Germany we invented beer. Give me a Weisen, the real king of beers.'
Up steps Dutchman Jan, chief executive of Grolsch, who states that Grolsch is the ultimate beer and asks for one with two fingers of head on top.
Patrick, the CEO of Guinness, steps forward.
'Barman, give me a coke with ice please.'
The other four stare at him in stunned silence with amazement written all over their faces.
Eventually Bruce asks, 'Are you not going to have a Guinness, Pat?'
Patrick replies, 'Well, more...
Q:"What did Bruce Lee order at the restaraunt?
A:"Waaataaa."(Water)