Bubba Jokes / Recent Jokes
Bubba got drunk and died in a fire in his trailer. He was so badly burned that the morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they called his two buddies Jim-Bob and Billy-Joe to I. D. him. Jim-Bob went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. "Yep, he's got burned up purdy bad. Roll' im over," said Jim-Bob. The mortician rolled him over, Jim-Bob looked at his butt and said, "Nope, dat ain't Bubba." Not saying anything, but finding it a bit strange, the mortician brought in Billy-Joe to I. D. the body. "Yep, he's burned up real bad. Roll' im over," said Billy-Joe. The mortician rolled him over, Billy-Joe looked down at his butt and said, "Dat ain't Bubba." "How can you tell?" asked the mortician. "Cause Bubba had two assholes," replied Billy-Joe. "Two assholes? That's impossible!" said the mortician. "Yep. Everyone in town knowed Bubba had two assholes, cause every time the three of us went to town, more...
Billy Bob and Bubba were out duck hunting, but weren't having very much luck.
"I don't git it, Bubba," Billy Bob said. "Why ain't we catchin us any?"
"I dunno, Billy Bob," Bubba replied. "I reckon maybe we ain't throwin the dog high enough."
Bubba and Bubba Jr. were driving down an Arkansas back road drinkin' some Budweisers when they spotted a Police roadblock ahead.
Bubba Jr says:' Dad, are we gonna get caught drinking and driving agin?'
Bubba pulls off the road and says
Bubba: No, son. Finish your beer, peel off the label and stick it on your forehead, stash the bottle under the seat and I'll do the talkin'
They pull up to the roadblock and are stopped, the officer asks
Officer: 'You boyz been drinkin?'
Bubba: No, we're on the patch!
3 contractors are in a bar after work enjoying a cold one, when a truck crashes into the bar killing all of them. They are at the pearly gates and Saint Peter say's "This is perfect the gates need repair and I can get three estimates" He asks the first contractor Bubba what it would take to fix the gates. Bubba walks over to the gates, inspects them, measures them and gives Saint peter an estimate of $750.
Saint Peter says thank you and asks the next contractor for an estimate. He walks over to the gates, inspects them, measures them and gives Saint Peter an estimate of $1500, and tells him I won't make a dime off this.
Saint Peter says thank you and asks the next contractor for an estimate. Anthony quickly gives Saint Peter a price of $2750. Saint Peter asks Anthony how he could come up with an estimate of two thousand seven hundred and fifty dollars without even inspecting or measuring the gates.
Anthony replys, It's easy Saint Peter, $1000 for you, $1000 more...
"BUBBA"
One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom shaving, when Bubba, a kid from around the neighborhood, comes in after having mowed the lawn for him, and proceeds to pee in the toilet.
Bubba was rather well endowed and curiosity got the best of the husband and he just had to look. Sure enough, Bubba had the largest penis he had ever seen!!!
The man asked Bubba, 'I don't mean to be too personal, but how did your dick get that big? I couldn't help but notice...'
Bubba laughed and said, 'Every night before bed, I bang it on the bedpost three times. Heck, it impresses the girls at school!"
The husband was excited at the simplicity of this technique and could hardly wait to try it himself.
Before he climbed into bed that night, he whipped it out and banged it on the bedpost three times. He was just climbing into bed with newfound confidence when the wife sits up, half-asleep and rubbing her eyes, and says, 'Bubba, is that you?"
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said "lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a poll-ice roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!" Don't worry, Bubba", Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat". "What fer?", asked Bubba. "Just let me do the talkin', OK?", said Earl. Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat, and each put a label on their forehead. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?" "No, sir", said Earl. "We're on the patch"!
A salesman asked Bubba where his friend Junior lived. Bubba gave him directions but cautioned him not to honk his horn.
"Why not? asked the salesman curiously.
"Well, you see, Junior's wife ran off with a banjo player about three months ago and every time Junior hears somebody honk, he's afraid the banjo player is bringing her back."