Bucks Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde who's down on her luck is walking through a luxurious neighborhood looking for odd jobs to do when she approaches a large house. She goes up to the house, rings the bell and the owner comes to the door.He asks the lady what he can do for her. The blonde tells him of her situation, that she is down on her luck and wants to know if he has any odd jobs that she could do. The man thinks about it for a second and then remembers that he has been wanting to paint his porch. He asks the blonde if she paints? The blonde says, "Sure anything." "Well, I've been wanting to paint my porch, how much would you charge?" the man replies."I don't know, say $50 bucks." "Sounds good. Go ahead and get started." He closes the door and walks back inside.His wife asks him, "Who was at the door?" He tells her of the blonde and her situation and then told his wife that the blonde agreed to paint the porch for $50 bucks. The astonished wife says, more...

This guy goes up to the bartender and says to him,"I bet you 20 bucks I can piss in that cup behind you and not spill a drop", the bartender chuckles and says "you're on" so the guy stands up on the bar and pisses all over the bar, the bartender, everywhere but the cup and the bartender smiles and says "you owe me 20 bucks" the guy gives him the money then the bartender looks at him and says "so why did you think you could do it"? the guy leans over the bar and says "you see the table of 5 guys over there? I bet them each 20 bucks that I could piss all over you and your bar and you would smile about it".

Everyday Clinton goes jogging and everyday he passes the same hooker on the same corner and he yells out five bucks, and she says, no way.
so the next day he passes her and yells five bucks and she replies, no way.
Then the next day Hillary decides she wants to go jogging with him, so naturally Bill doesn't yell anything to the hooker but as they pass by the hooker yells out, "see that's what you get for five bucks!!!"

So, this guy, Bill is sitting in a bar and pulls out this tiny little piano and a little guy about a foot tall. The little guy sits down and starts playing the piano quite beautifully.
The fellow on the next bar stool, Joe, says 'That's amazing. Where did you get him?'
Bill answers 'well, I got this magic lamp with a genie.'
So Joe asks 'that's great, could I use it?' Bill says 'sure ' and hands him the lamp. Joe rubs the lamp and out comes the genie. He continued, 'I want a million bucks'. Suddenly the room is entirely filled with quacking ducks!
Joe exclaims 'Hey! I asked for 1 million BUCKS! Not DUCKS!' Bill explained.
'Yes, the genie is a bit deaf. You don't think I really asked for a twelve inch pianist do you?

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he wants to drink and he replies a beer. He hears something and turns around and sees a little 12 inch pianist.
The guy asked the bartender where he got the 12 inch pianist. The bartender replies "I got from my genie" and hands him his beer. The guy says can I borrow that genie and the bartender says sure.
So the guy goes into the bathroom and wishes for a million bucks. He comes out of the bathroom with ducks flying everywhere. The bartender asks what did you wish for.The guy replies "I wished for a million bucks but instead I got a million ducks." The bartender says,"Well do you think I wished for a 12 INCH PIANIST!!!

A man walks into a bar and sees a guy sitting on a barstool drinking a beer and watching a miniature man playing a piano on the bar in front of him. Bewildered, the man asked him where did he get his little friend. The guy said that there was a genie outside the back door granting wishes, so he goes out back and sure enough, there was a genie. He walks up to the genie and says I wish for a thousand bucks. The genie said, "Granted." The man walks back into the bar and there were ducks flying everywhere. He goes back up to the man at the bar and says "That genie must be deaf, I asked for a thousand bucks, not a thousand ducks." The man replied, "What did you think I asked for, a twelve inch pianist?"

Harry approached a prostitute and asked, "How much for a blow job? "."Hundred Bucks"."OK", he said and began to jerk off."What the hell are you doing that for?""For hundred bucks you dont think Im going to give you the easyone, do you? "