Bugs Jokes / Recent Jokes

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
Every morning is the dawn of a new error...
A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
Don't more...

tom: why are you scratching your head?
harry: ive got those arithmetic bugs again
tom: arithmetic bugs-what are they
harry: well, some people call them head lice.
tom:then why do you call them arithmetic bugs?
harry: because they add to my misery, subtract from my pleasure, divide my attention and multiply like crazy

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
Every morning is the dawn of a new error...
A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
Don't more...

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.Why is "abbreviation" such a long word? Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.Every morning is the dawn of a new error...A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...The beatings will continue until morale improves.I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.Don't be so open-minded your brains will fall out.If at first you DO succeed, try not to look more...

Why don't other bugs like earwigs? Because they are always earwigging their conversations!

... every morning is the dawn of a new error.
Cannot find REALITY.SYS... Universe halted
COFFEE.EXE missing - insert cup and press any key.
Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
C:WINDOWS C:WINDOWSGO C:PCCRAWL
C:DOS C:DOSRUN RUNDOSRUN
Best file compression utility around: DEL *.* = 100% compression.
The definition of an upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
BREAKFAST.COM halted... Cereal Port not Responding.
C:Bad command or file name: Go stand in the corner.
Why doesnit DOS ever say EXCELLENT command or filename?
... File not found. Should I fake it (Y/N)
Ethernet (n). something used to catch the Etherbunny.
An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted. Re-boot Washington D.C. (Y/N)
SENILE.COM found... more...

The Life Cycle of SoftwareProgrammer produces code he believes is bug-free. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs. See 3. See 4. See 5. See 6. See 7. See 8. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely pre-mature product announcement based on over-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released. Users find 137 new bugs. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires programmer to redo more...