Halted Jokes

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
Every morning is the dawn of a new error...
A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
Don't more...

In a joint press conference early this morning, the Chief Executives of Microsoft and Novell revealed that their companies had been working together to increase Microsoft's dominance of the computer industry. In a secret partnership with Microsoft, Novell has been strategically acquiring Microsoft's major competitors in the software industry and ruining them.
The relationship goes back a number of years, according to Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates. "[Digital Research's] DR-DOS 5.0 was ten times the operating system that MS-DOS 4.01 was. We couldn't even steal technology fast enough to compete. That was when we first contacted Novell." Under direction from Microsoft, Novell then purchased Digital Research, a small California company best known for its CP/M operating system.
Novell CEO Bob Frankenburg continued, "We let the developers release DR-DOS 6.0, which unfortunately was a success, but then we jumped in with both feet. By the time we were done with it, more...

Top 50+ Geek T-Shirt slogans
1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
2. COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key.
3. Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
4. 2 + 2 = 5 for extrememly large values of
2.
5. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
6. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
7. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
8. C:DOS C:DOSRUN RUNDOSRUN
9. C:WINDOWS C:WINDOWSGO C:PCCRAWL
10. <
The information went data way---
11. Best file compression around: "DEL . " = 100% compression
12. The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
13. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
14. The name is Baud... James Baud.
15. BUFFERS FILES_ 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
16. Access denied

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.Why is "abbreviation" such a long word? Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.Every morning is the dawn of a new error...A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...The beatings will continue until morale improves.I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.Don't be so open-minded your brains will fall out.If at first you DO succeed, try not to look more...

Top 50+ Geek T-Shirt slogans1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.2. COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key.3. Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.4. 2 + 2 = 5 for extrememly large values of2.5. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.6. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.7. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.8. C:DOS C:DOSRUN RUNDOSRUN9. C:WINDOWS C:WINDOWSGO C:PCCRAWL10. <
The information went data way---11. Best file compression around: "DEL . " = 100% compression12. The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.13. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding14. The name is Baud... James Baud.15. BUFFERS FILES_ 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go! 16. Access denied