Building Jokes / Recent Jokes

A mechanical engineer died & went to heaven. Upon arrival Saint Peter checked "THE BOOK" and didn't find his name, so he informed the engineer that he must get on the elevator and go DOWNSTAIRS.Reluctantly the engineer boarded the elevator for the long trip DOWNSTAIRS and upon arrival in hell found that he was very uncomfortable due to the excessive heat. He asked to see the devil and was granted an interview, at which time he requested a large of materials with which to build an air conditioner. The devil replied that he could have anything he wished, and what he couldn't find, they would steal. So the engineer spent a month and a half building an air conditioner, which, when completed, cooled hell off only a few degrees.Somewhat unsatisfied the engineer requested additional materials, with which he spent another month and a half building a sprinkler system to add to the cooling effect of his air conditioner. Hell was getting much cooler now and folks were beginning to more...

Visiting Washington, DC for the first time, the blond stopped to ask a policeman directions to the Capitol building. "Just wait here for the number 48 bus. That will take you right there," he replied.
Returning to the same area a few hours later, the policeman noticed the blonde was still waiting at the same bus stop. He approached her and said, "Excuse me miss, but I told you to get to the Capitol building take the number 48 bus. That was hours ago. Why are you still here waiting?"
"Oh I don't think it will be long now Officer. The 42nd bus just went by," she replied.

One day a blonde, brunette, and redhead were on top of a burning building. When the firemen got there they stretched the trampoline out and told the brunette to jump. She jumped, then the firemen moved back and she died. Then they moved back and told the redhead to jump. She said ''No! I saw what you just did!'' The firemen replied, ''we don't like brunettes, we won't move this time!'' So she believed them and jumped. They moved again, then returned to where they were. Then they told the blonde to jump. She replied ''No I saw what you did to them!'' The firemen said, ''we don't like brunettes or redheads, we like blondes!'' She then said ''OK! I'll tell you what to do! All of you put the net on the ground and BACK UP!''

What happened when Ray Johnson fell off the Empire State Building?
Now everyone calls him x-ray.

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.
The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position.
The pilot responded "I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building more...

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a
woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the
store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the
shopper ascends the flights.


There is, however, a catch.. .. You may choose any man from a
particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back
down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband..


On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.


*********

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.


*********

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, more...

Two guys were sitting at a bar on the 40th floor of a skyscraper and were totally plastered.
The first guy said, ”Hey, I’ll bet you a million bucks that I can jump out of this window, fly around the building, and land right here next to you! ”
Being so totally wasted, plus hearing a completely impossible bet, the 2nd guy replied, ”YOU’RE ON! ”
So the first guy jumped out of the window, flew around the building, and came right back to the same spot. ”WOW, ” screamed the 2nd guy, ”That was incredible. Do it again! ”
So the first guy jumped out of the window, flew around the building, and landed right next to his friend. ”That is remarkable. Do it one more time! ”
”Ok, ” said the first guy, ”But if I do it again, when I come back you have to do it. ”
The second man agreed, and with that, once again, the first jumped out, flew around, and came back. ”Your turn, ” he said.
So the 2nd guy stepped up to the window. more...