Bullet Jokes / Recent Jokes
Knock Knock Who's there! Bullet! Bullet who? Bullet all the hay and now he's hungry!
The College Food Chain:
THE DEAN
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Gives policy to God
THE DEPARTMENT HEAD
Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Talks with God
PROFESSOR
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks with God if a special request is honored
ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR
Barely clears a Quonset hut
Loses tug of war with a locomotive
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well
Is occasionally addressed by God
ASSISTANT PROFESSOR
Makes high marks on the walls when trying to leap tall buildings
Is run over by locomotives
Can more...
A pregnant woman is in the bank when it being robbed. A gunfight breaks
out, and she is shot 3 times in the abdomen. She is rushed to the
hospital. Miraculously, she is unharmed. After giving a full
examination, though, the doctor tells her, "I have good news and bad
news for you. You are going to have triplets -- but each baby has a
bullet in it. Luckily, they have hit no vital organs, and eventually
your children will pass the bullets naturally."
The woman has 3 healthy babies. Twelve years pass, and she had all but
forgotten the incident in the bank.
One day, the first child, a daughter, comes to her mother and says,
"Mom, the strangest thing just happened." The mother interrupts her and
says, "You passed a bullet, right?" The mother goes on to tell the
daughter the story.
A few weeks later, the second child, also a daughter, comes to her
mother and says, "Mom, the strangest more...
THE DEAN
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Gives policy to God
THE DEPARTMENT HEAD
Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Talks with God
PROFESSOR
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
Is almost as powerful a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks with God if a special request is honored
ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR
Barely clears a quonset hut
Loses tug of war with a locomotive
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well
Is occasionally addressed by God
ASSISTANT PROFESSOR
Makes high marks on the walls when trying to leap tall buildings
Is run over by locomotives
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Treads water
Talks to more...
A women was pregnant with triplets.
One day she goes into this bank as it was being held up. She gets shot 3 times in her stomach, but luckily she lives.
She goes to the doctor who tells her her children will be all right, one day the bullets will come out.
So 13 years later, one triplet, a girl, runs out of the bathroom and says "MOM, MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!" So the mother tells her the story.
The next day the second daughter comes out and says the same thing, "MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHOOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!"
On the third day the son comes out and says "MOM, MOM!" she goes "Let me guess, you were going to the bathroom and a bullet came out?" he replies "No, I was jerking off and I shot the dog!"
there was a woman in the ghetto who was pregnant with triplets, so the woman goes into the store one day and gets shot three times one in each womb when she went to the doctor he said they will be alright but will be some side effects one of the girls comes in and says mom i peed a bullet she says its alright i got shot thirteen years ago another girl comes in and says i peed a bullet she says its alright and then the boy comes in and is ballin his eyes out crying and his mom asks did you pee a bullet? he said no i was jackin off and i shot the dog.