Bullet Jokes / Recent Jokes
One night a lady pregnant with triplets was walking by and a masked robber ran out of a bank and shot her in the stomach three times.
Her docter told her that he couldn't perform surgery because it would be too risky.
All was well for 16 years when one of the girls came running into the room crying.
"Whats wrong?" asked the mother.
"I was taking a pee and a bullet came out".
"It's ok" said the mom and explained what happened 16 years ago.
A week later the other girl came running into the room crying, "I know what happened, you were taking a pee and a bullet came out?"
"Yes" replied the girl.
"It's ok" said the mom and explained what happened 16 years ago.
A week later the boy came running in crying, "I know what happened, you were taking a pee and a bullet came out. "No" replied the boy, "I was playing with more...
Knock KnockWhos there! Bullet! Bullet who? Bullet all the hay and now hes hungry!
The real interpretation of corportate titles:
CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD: Leaps tall building in a single bound Is more powerful than a locomotive Is faster than a speeding bullet Walks on water Discusses policy with God
PRESIDENT: Leaps short buildings in a single bound Is more powerful than a switch engine Is just as fast as a speeding bullet Walks on water if the sea is calm Talks with God
EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT: Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds. Is almost as powerful as a switch engine Is faster than a speeding BB. Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool Talks with God if special request is approved
VICE PRESIDENT: Barely clears a Quonset hut Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive Can fire a speeding bullet Swims well Is occasionally addressed by God
GENERAL MANAGER: Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings Is run over by locomotive Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury Dog paddles Talks to more...
The real interpretation of corportate titles:CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD: Leaps tall building in a single bound Is more powerful than a locomotive Is faster than a speeding bullet Walks on water Discusses policy with GodPRESIDENT: Leaps short buildings in a single bound Is more powerful than a switch engine Is just as fast as a speeding bullet Walks on water if the sea is calm Talks with GodEXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT: Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds. Is almost as powerful as a switch engine Is faster than a speeding BB. Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool Talks with God if special request is approvedVICE PRESIDENT: Barely clears a Quonset hut Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive Can fire a speeding bullet Swims well Is occasionally addressed by GodGENERAL MANAGER: Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings Is run over by locomotive Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury Dog paddles Talks to animalsMANAGER: Runs into more...
The 2000 member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "EVERYONE WILLING TO TAKE A BULLET FOR JESUS STAY IN YOUR SEAT!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the assistant pastor.
After a few moments, there were about 20 people left sitting in the church. The preacher was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, to the preacher, "All right, pastor, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the service."
One day a pregnant lady that was expecting triplets was walking through a gangster neighborhood, and was shot three times. When she went to the emergency room, the doctor said that she would live, but that the kids might experience complications as they got older.
Ten years later, the first kid came running down the stairs and said, "Mommy Mommy! Guess what? I pooped a bullet!"
A day or so later, the second kid came running down the stairs and said, "Mommy Mommy! Guess what? I pooped a bullet!"
The third kid come down the stairs and said, "Mommy Mommy! Guess what?"
She said, "Let me guess... You pooped a bullet?"
He said, "No, I was jacking off and I shot the dog."