Bullets Jokes / Recent Jokes
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. From the Echoes-Sentines [?], Somerset County, NJ, Sept. 17, 1987: GILLETTE RESIDENT IS ARRESTED AFTER SHOOTING HIS COMPUTERPASSAIC TWP. -- A Gillette man was arrested at his home last Thursday night after he fired eight bullets at his home computer, according to police. The man, Michael A. Case, 35, of 64 Summit Ave., was arrested shortly after 11 p. m., at his house, when police said they received a report that shots were fired. They arrived at the home to find a. 44 Magnum automatic handgun and a shot-up IBM personal computer with a Princeton Graphics System monitor. The monitor screen was blown out by the blasts and its inner workings were visible, Lt. Donald Van Tassel said on Monday. The computer, which had bullet holes in its hardware, was hit four times while four more bullet holes were found in various areas next to the computer, Van more...
BANDERSNATCH CHRISTMAS SHOPPING LIST
This year The Frumious Bandersnatch highlights some of the more
arcane or utterly worthless things you can give as a Christmas
gift.
PHOTO PANTIES
Have your picture silk screened onto your girlfriend's panties
for only $19. 95. You can imagine all the creative purposes this
can be put to.
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK II
The new edition of this game is designed for know-it-alls and
includes questions about subjects such as the difference between
Visigoths and Ostergoths that are sure to stump them.
FREE BAJA ARIZONA BUMPER STICKERS
We still have a supply of our non-waterproof bumper stickers that
melt away at the first drop of rain. Good for use only in
extremely arid regions.
WAX BULLETS
Perfect for shooting insects inside your house, our wax bullets
come in 22 and 38 caliber sizes.
LIVE TUMBLEWEEDS
Decorate your house in more...
In front of you stand four men: Adolf Hitler, Idi Amin, Saddam Hussein and a lawyer. You are holding a gun which contains only three bullets. Who do you shoot?
Use all three bullets on the lawyer.
One of Microsoft`s finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target. One of Microsoft`s finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.
A woman, three months pregnant was walking by a bank when two robbers
emerged from the bank. The security guards and robbers exchanged gunfire
and the young woman was struck in the abdomen. At the hospital the doctors
concerned for the unborn children decided not to do surgery to remove the
bullets. 6
months later the woman gave birth to triplets. Two girls and a boy all
unharmed by
the bullets. Years went by without incident when one day near the childrens 16
birthday one of the girls when to her mother in tears. The mother asked what
the
problem was and she described that while going to the bathroom a bullet came
out of
her. The mother calmed her down and told her the story of the day she was
shot.
Shortly after that the second daughter emerged from the restroom and in
similar
circumstances started the story about the bullet. The mother stopped her and
again explained the story to the second daughter. Suddenly the more...
Assembler: You shoot yourself in the foot.
Ada: The Department of Defense shoots you in the foot after offering you a blindfold and a last cigarrette.
BASIC (interpreted): You shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol until your leg is waterlogged and rots off.
BASIC (compiled): You shoot yourself in the foot with a BB using a SCUD missile launcher.
C++: You create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot them all in the foot. Not knowing which feet are virtual, medical care is impossible.
COBOL: USE HANDGUN. COLT(45), AIM AT LEG. FOOT, THEN WITH ARM. HAND. FINGER ON HANDGUN. COLT(TRIGGER) PREFORM SQUEEZE, RETURN HANDGUN. COLT TO HIP. HOLSTER.
cah: After searching the manual until your foot falls asleep, you shoot the computer and switch to C.
dBASE: You buy a gun. Bullets are only available from another company and are promised to work so you buy them. Then you find out that the next version of the gun more...
Assembler: You shoot yourself in the foot. Ada: The Department of Defense shoots you in the foot after offering you a blindfold and a last cigarrette. BASIC (interpreted): You shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol until your leg is waterlogged and rots off. BASIC (compiled): You shoot yourself in the foot with a BB using a SCUD missile launcher. C++: You create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot them all in the foot. Not knowing which feet are virtual, medical care is impossible. COBOL: USE HANDGUN. COLT(45), AIM AT LEG. FOOT, THEN WITH ARM. HAND. FINGER ON HANDGUN. COLT(TRIGGER) PREFORM SQUEEZE, RETURN HANDGUN. COLT TO HIP. HOLSTER. cah: After searching the manual until your foot falls asleep, you shoot the computer and switch to C. dBASE: You buy a gun. Bullets are only available from another company and are promised to work so you buy them. Then you find out that the next version of the gun is the one that is scheduled to shoot bullets. Fortran: You shoot yourself in more...