Bully Jokes / Recent Jokes

As most young, weak, and smart kids are, Ken was picked on constantly by the bullies in school. They stole his lunch, they beat him up and just downright made his life miserable. It took him a couple of weeks to find a way to get back at these bullies and when he found out what would get them back, he went all out.
He was on the bus where he normally gets his lunch stolen when he brought out a bottle that had what looked like small brown balls in it. He then, making sure no one was looking, secretly took from his pocket some milk duds and started popping them in his mouth as obvious to the rest of the kids as possible making yum yum noises.
The bully, without asking, snatched the jar from Ken's hand and asked, "What's in the bottle that you are making such a big deal of?"
"Well, they're smart pills."
"Smart pills?" the bully asked, then opened the jar and popped a couple of the foreign brown balls in his mouth. more...

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings." The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings." The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs." The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs." Te bartender says, "You are now. That was a more...

As most young and weak kids are, Little Johnny was picked on constantly by the bullies in school. They stole his lunch, they beat him up and just downright made his life miserable. It took him a couple of weeks to find a way to get back at these bullies and when he found out what would get them back, he went all out. He was on the bus where he normally gets his lunch stolen when he brought out a bottle that had what looked like small brown balls in it. He then, making sure no one was looking, secretly took from his pocket some milk duds and started popping them in his mouth as obvious to the rest of the kids as possible making yum yum noises. The bully without asking snatched the jar from Little Johnny’s hand and asked, “What’s in the bottle that you are making such a big deal of? ” “Well, they’re smart pills. ” “Smart pills? ” the bully asked. Then opened the jar and popped a couple of the foreign brown balls in his mouth. “Pweeuuweppblahhh!! ” he reacted. more...

You set yourself on fire and yell "Kaioken!" in an attempt to use the Kaioken, and immediately get burned to death. You exercise with tons of weights on your body and tell all your friends that you're trying to turn into a Super Saiyajin. You buy 7 large marbles and try to summon Shenlong, the Eternal Dragon. You and all of your friends believe that the school bully is Frieza. After getting beat up by the school bully, you tell your friends to just wish you back with the Dragonballs. You tear a pair of glasses in half, paint it green, tape it to one side of an earmuff and wear it over your ear as you walk down the street laughing and pointing at everyone as if they had low power level. When you play Goldeneye 007 for the Nintendo 64 you chase down your friends in Multiplayer saying "I'm coming to get you, Kakarot!" (this one I actually did ^_^). You tell everyone you know that you have a tail and you've had it since birth. When you go to the gym at school you ask more...

At a crossroads in the countryside, there stood a temple wherein was enshrined a statue of god carved in wood. One day, a man was pursuing his way when he saw a ditch before him. So he removed the statue from the temple and put it down lengthwise to span the ditch. He stepped on it and crossed over. Then another man came along. Unable to bear the sight of the statue lying in the ditch, he propped it up and carrying it back to the temple restored it to its pedestal. Thereupon the god accused of him of failing to burn incense and at once cursed him with a splitting headache. Bewildered, all the lectors of the Purgatory Judge asked the god: "The man who trod on you had gone unpunished; yet the man who helped you up has been cursed with a headache. Why?" "Well," the god explained, "you ought to know that the kindhearted people are the ones you can bully."