Burn Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day a blonde and her brunette friend were listening to music together. The brunette had a few songs the blonde loved and so the brunette offered to burn a CD for her friend. "No, no," the blonde said, "I can burn my own CD" so the brunette lent the blonde the CD and they both went home. The next day the brunette went over to the blonde's house and saw lots of fire engines and smoke and a smoldering lump where the blonde's house had been. The blonde was off to the side looking angry. When she saw the brunette she stomped over and asked, "how exactly do you burn your CDs, because I tried using matches and it so did not work!"
How long does it take to burn a candle down? About a wick!
The last words of a chemist:
1. And now the tasting test.
2. May that become hot?
3. And now a little bit from this...
4.. .. and please keep that test tube alone!
5. And now shake it a bit.
6. Why is there no label on this bottle?
7. In which glass was my mineral water?
8. The bunsen burner *is* out!
9. Why does that stuff burn with a green flame?!?
10. *H* stands for Nitrogen - and that does *not* burn...
11. Oh, now I have spilt something...
12. First the acid, then the water...
13. And now the detonating gas problem.
14. This is a completely save experimental setup.
15. Where did I put my gloves?
16. O no, wrong beaker...
17. The fire alarm is just being tested.
18. Now you can take the protection window away...
19. And now keep it constant at 24 degrees celsius, 25... 26... more...
Q. Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A. Because they can't get their head in the jar.
Q. What's a blonde's favorite wine?
A. "Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami!"
Q. What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A. A wine cellar.
Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A. Frosted Flakes.
Q. How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on her.
Q. How did the blonde burn her nose?
A. Bobbing for french fries.
Q. How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
A1. 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.
A2. Three... one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.
A3. Two... one to make batter and one to peel the M&Ms.
Q. Why don't blondes double recipes?
A. The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.
Q. Why don't blondes breast feed?
A. Because they always burn their nipples.
Q. Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A. Because they can't more...
Why did the blonde burn her ear? The phone rang while she was ironing!
A gentleman is returning home after a lengthy trip, and is met by his servant at the station. This is
the conversation that they have on their way to his home:
"So, has anything happened while I've been away?"
"No, sir, I can't think of anything at all worth mentioning."
"Come now, I've been away for weeks. Surely something must have happened in all that time."
"Well, sir, come to think of it, your dog died."
"My *dog* died? How awful! Still, he was getting on in years, and I suppose it had to happen some
time. How did he die?"
"The vet said it was probably from eating the rotten meat."
"The rotten meat? Since when do we leave rotten meat lieing around for the dog to eat?"
"Well, it was the horses, sir. They'd been rotting for some time after the barn burned down."
"Good heavens. How in the world did the barn burn down?"
"It must more...