Bush Jokes / Recent Jokes

Some years ago when Bill Clinton was still President, he gave George W. Bush a tour of the White House. While there, George was amazed to find that Bill Clinton had his very own solid gold urinal! "Maybe when I'm President, I can have a gold urinal too," he thought to himself. He went back and told his wife Laura all about it. The next day, Laura Bush also visited the White House and had lunch with Hillary Clinton. During their talk, Laura mentioned the beautiful gold urinal her husband had seen in the Clinton's bathroom... but Hillary said nothing. That night when she went to bed, she told Bill: "I found out who peed in your saxophone."

The head of the department of education
was talking to president Bush.
" Mr president", The man said, " 85% of
the nations children can't find Iraq on the
map."
Bush just smiled and calmly stated,
"thats ok. in a few monthes it won't be on
the map."

Hal E. Luya (Hallelujah)
Hal Jalikakick (How'd ya like a kick)
Hammond Eggs (Ham and Eggs)
Hank E. Panky (Hanky Panky)
Harmon Ikka (Harmonica)
Harris Mint (Harassment)
Harrison Fire (Hair is on Fire)
Harry Balzac (Hairy Ball Sack)
Harry Weiner (Hairy Wiener)
Hayden Seek (Hide & Seek)
Haywood Jablowme (Hey, Would You Blow Me?)
Haywood Jashootmee (Hey Would You Shoot Me?)
Hein Noon (High Noon)
Helen Back (Hell and Back)
Helena Hanbaskett (Hell In A Hand Basket)
Henador Titzhoff (He Gnawed Her Tits Off)
Herbie Hind (Her Behind)
Herb E. Side (Herbiside)
Herbie Voor (Herbivore)
Holden Mcgroin (Holding My Groin)
Holly Dayin (Holiday Inn)
Holly Wood (Hollywood)
Homan Provement (Home Improvent)
Homer Sexual (Homosexual)
Howard I. No (How Would I Know?)
Howe D. Pardner (Howdy Partner)
Hu Flung Pu (Who Flung Poo?)
Huang Annsaw (Wrong Answer)
Hugh Beeotch more...

Very InterestingDraw your own conclusions..Counties won by Gore: 677
Counties won by Bush: 2,434
Population of counties won by Gore: 127 million
Population of counties won by Bush: 143 million
Square miles of country won by Gore: 580,000
Square miles of country won by Bush: 2,427,000States won by Gore: 19
States won by Bush: 29Professor Joseph Olson of the Hamline University School of Law in St.Paul Minnesota has produced another interesting new statistic. Professor
Olson looked up the crime statistics for all of these counties and came up
with this:
Average Murder per 100,000 residents in counties won by Gore: 13.2
Average Murder per 100,000 residents in counties won by Bush: 2.1The logical conclusion-------killers voted for Gore.

How many members of the Bush Administration are needed to replace a lightbulb?
The Answer is SEVEN:
(1) One to deny that a lightbulb needs to be replaced,
(2) one to attack and question the patriotism of anyone who has questions about the lightbulb,
(3) one to blame the previous administration for the need of a new lightbulb,
(4) one to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of lightbulbs,
(5) one to get together with Vice President Cheney and figure out how to pay Halliburton Industries one million dollars for a lightbulb,
(6) one to arrange a photo-op session showing Bush changing the lightbulb while dressed in a flight suit and wrapped in an American flag,
(7) and finally one to explain to Bush the difference between screwing a lightbulb and screwing the country.

A husband and wife were watching the news on television: The devastation
at the World Trade Center; the videos of people from different countries
around the world crying with Americans over events of the past few weeks;
reporters updating attempting to analyze political strategy; and
President Bush making speeches.The wife turned to the husband and said, "You know, I thank God every
night that Bush is our President. I feel so safe knowing he is our
leader and that he will do the right thing. He is doing such a wonderful
job".The husband turned red in the face, gritted his teeth, clenched his fists
and screamed..."JUST SHUT UP, TIPPER!"

President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar.
A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?"
The barman says, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"
Bush says, "We're planning WW III ".
And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big tits."
The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits?"
"Why kill a blonde with big tits?"
Bush turns to Powell and says,
"See, I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"