Bush Jokes / Recent Jokes

There's a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks her class how many of them are Bush fans.
Not really knowing what a Bush fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy, little Johnny.
The teacher asks little Johnny why he has decided to be different. Johnny says, "I'm not a Bush fan."
The teacher says, "Why aren't you a Bush fan?" Johnny says, "Because I'm a Clinton fan."
The teacher asks why he's a Clinton fan. The boy says, "Well, my mom's a Clinton fan and my dad's a Clinton fan, so I'm a Clinton fan!"
The teacher is kind of angry, because this is Texas, so she says, "What if you're mom was a moron and you're dad was an idiot, what would that make you?"
Johnny says, "That would make me a Bush fan!"

President Bush said of the war in Iraq, " I will not withdraw."
Bush senior said those words 60 years ago when he was on top of Barbara and look where we are now.

For his new Secretary of Defense, President Bush has chosen Robert M. Gates, a man who also acted as CIA director for Bush’s father.



















Having inherited a Presidency and now a Secretary of Defense from his father, Bush is making it increasingly clear why he pushed that bill through Congress lowering the inheritance tax.

After a few days on the new Earth, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth, so I want you to kiss her."

Adam answered, "Yes, Lord, but what is a' kiss'?" The Lord gave a brief description to Adam, who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush.

A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you Lord, that was enjoyable."

And the Lord replied, "Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that. Now, I'd like you to caress Eve."

And Adam said, "What is a' caress'?"

So, the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve.

Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "Lord, that was even better than the kiss."

And the Lord said, "You've done well Adam. And now, I want you to make love to Eve."

And Adam asked, more...

There's a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks her class how many of them are Bush fans. Not really knowing what a Bush fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy, Johnny. The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to be different. Johnny says, "I'm not a bush fan." The teacher says, "Why aren't you a bush fan?" Johnny says, "I'm an Al Gore fan" The teacher asks why he's an Al Gore fan. The boy says, "Well, my mom's an Al Gore fan and my dad's an Al Gore fan, so I'm an Al Gore fan!" The teacher is kind of angry, because this is Texas, so she says, "What if you're mom was a moron and you're dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" Johnny says, "That would make me a Bush fan."

DIRECTIONS FOR ADAM & EVE
After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth so I want you to kiss her."
Adam answered, "Yes Lord, but what is a kiss?" So the Lord gave a brief description to Adam who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush.
A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you Lord, that Was enjoyable."
And the Lord replied, "Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that and now I'd like you to caress Eve." And Adam said, "What is a 'caress'?" So the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve.
Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "Lord, that was even better than the kiss." And the Lord said, "'You've done well Adam. And now I want you to make love to Eve." And Adam asked, "What is 'make love' Lord?"' So the Lord again gave Adam more...

As my elderly aunt and uncle strolled downtown one afternoon they run into their old friends. They spend some time discussing this and that when one friend asks my uncle where they has been. "We just left the office of our memory doctor"

"Memory doctor? What is that all about?"

"Well" replies my uncle "As you know we are getting up there in age, and our memory just isn't as sharp as it once was."

"Is the doctor effective?"

"Oh, yes, he's wonderful."

"Really. You know, my memory is not too sharp these days either. Maybe I'll pay him a visit. Whats his name?"

"Oh. Uh. Well." replies my uncle. "Um. You know those things that grow out of the ground?".

"You mean trees?"

"Kind of, but smaller."

"You mean a bush?"

"Yes, a bush or a plant, but. .. Um. .. You more...