Bushes Jokes / Recent Jokes
A blonde a brunette and a
redhead were convicted of a crime and sent to jail. Then they decide to
escape, the brunette jumps up on the wall and then jumps in the bushes
on the other side. The guards poke their heads around the door to see
what the noise was so the brunette says, 'meow meow.' The guards say,
'don't worry it was just a cat.' So then the redhead has to go, she gets
up on the wall and jumps off into the bushes. Once again the guards come
out and see what the trouble was and the redhead says, 'meow meow.' The
guards say, 'oh never mind, just another cat...'
So then its the blondes turn, so she gets up on the wall and jumps off
and into the bushes. And the guards come out once again to see what all
the noise is so the blonde says, 'Dont Worry Its Just Another Cat!!'
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.
"So, how is everything going?" enquired God.
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It is these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real pain," reported Eve. And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc....... she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced," as she put it.
"That is a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix more...
As you may already know, THE DARWIN AWARDS are bestowed every year upon
(the remains of) that individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice,
has done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene
pool.
And now, for this year's illustrious winner(s):.. drum roll... John
Pernicky and friend Sal Hawkins, of the great state of Washington,
decided to attend a local Metallica concert at the Amphitheater at Gorge,
Washington. Having no tickets (but 18 beers among them) they sat in the
parking lot, and after finishing the beer, decided that it would be easy
enough to hop over the nine-foot high fence and sneak into the show.
The two friends pulled their pickup truck over to the fence and the plan
was for John-100 pounds heavier than Sal-to hop over, and then assist his
friend over the fence. Unfortunately for John, there was a 30 foot drop on
the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found more...
A man comes home from work and walks in his house. Now on top of a really bad day he comes to see his wife in a towel and his bed extreamly messed up. He suspects his wife is cheating on him. The man walked into his room where a naked an stand in hiss balconey. Her husband now in an up roar pushes the naked man out the balconey door.
The husband stomping on the mans hands trying to make him drop. Finally he fell into a great thing of bushes. But he handt died. So the husband took the fridge and threw it out the window. Unfortunately the cord wrapped around the mans ankle and died as well.
The he meets up with god and he says that heaven is full. But "god said" if you tell me the how you died and how bad it was then i will let you in.
The Husband agrees to his offer. The husbands began to explain, well on top of a bad day at work i come home to my wife cheating on me and the man was hanging out my balconey window so i threw the fridge on him and the cord wrapped more...