Butter Jokes / Recent Jokes

One Day Dumbo Went To A Store And Asked For A Packet Of Butter. He Was Handed Over The Packet Which Had The Caption
"Cholesterol Free" Written On It. He Paid For The Butter And Was Handed Over The Butter. He Waited For Sometime. On Asking
Him What Else He Wanted, He Replied, "Don't Think I Will Get Fooled By You Shopkeepers, Please Hand Over The Cholesterol
Which The Company Is Giving Free With This Purchase. ”

If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?

If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?

If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?

If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?

If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?

Why do they call it "chili" if it's hot?

Question and answer Clinton jokes
Q: How do you break a Bill Clinton supporter`s finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.

Q: What does Jeffrey Dahmer`s victims and The Clintons` hair styles have in common?
A: They both look like the work of a butcher.

Q: If The Clinton`s were younger, do you think they would have known the Clampents?
A: Possibly, Bill might have made Jethro`s acquaintance in the 6th grade.

Q: Why doesn`t Hillary cut Bill`s hair?
A: He won`t pay her $300.

Q: What are the two worst things about Bill Clinton?
A: His face.

Q: What is the Arkansas state flower?
A: Gennifer.

Q: Know how to solve the Serbian/Bosnian problem in less than 48 hours?
A: Put Janet Reno in charge.

Q: What`s the difference between a Bill Clinton and a carp?
A: One`s a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other`s a fish.

Q: What`s the difference between Hillary Clinton and a more...

A husband and wife were out playing golf. They tee off and one drive goes to the right and one drive goes to the left.

The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball. She hits a beautiful second shot, but in the process she hacks the hell out of the buttercups.

Suddenly a woman appears out of nowhere. She blocks her path to her golf bag and looks at her and says, "I'm Mother Nature, and I don't like the way you treated my buttercups. From now on, you won't be able to stand the taste of butter. Each time you eat butter you will become physically ill to the point of total nausea."

The mystery woman then disappears as quickly as she appeared.

Shaken, the wife calls out to her husband, "Honey, you won't believe what just happened. Where are you?"

"I'm over here in the pussy willows."

The wife screams back, "Whatever you do - DON'T more...

Two friends, Fred and Harry were golfing one fine day.

Toward the end of the golf course, Fred had hit his ball into the woods.

Harry, laughed and poked fun, but then somehow managed to hit his ball into the woods, just a few yards beyond where Fred has hit his.

Fred looked for a long time, getting angrier every minute.
Finally, in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups, he found his ball.

Instead of just continuing the game, he took his club and thrashed every single buttercup in that patch smashing the weeds to pieces.

All of a sudden, in a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared.
She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups?!

Just for that, you won't have any butter for your popcorn the rest of your life... better still; you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life..... as a matter of fact, you won't have any butter for anything more...

Kellogg Co. on Friday recalled 16 products containing peanut butter due to possible salmonella contamination. The products include Keebler branded Peanut Butter Sandwich Crackers and Keebler Soft Batch Homestyle Peanut Butter Cookies. A spokesperson for Kellogg said if the salmonella outbreak continues, the company may have to layoff up to one hundred elves.

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Butter.
Butter who?
I butter not tell you! Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Butter.
Butter who?
Butter let me in! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Butter!
Butter who?
Butter be quick, I have to go to the bathroom! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Butter!
Butter who?
Butter bring an umbrella, it looks like it might rain!