Butter Jokes / Recent Jokes
There are four elephants in a Volkswagon. How do you know when one went into your refrigerator?
Answer: There is a set of footprints in the butter!
How do you know when there were two elephants in the fridge?
Answer: There are two sets of footprints in the butter!
How do you know when there were three elephants in your fridge?
Answer: you have three sets of footprints in the butter!
How do you know when four elephants were in your fridge?
Answer: You have an empty Volkswagon!
In an effort to clarify questions about the purported durability and unusual physical characteristics of Twinkies, we subjected the Hostess snack logs to the following experiments:ExposureA Twinkie was left on a window ledge for 4 days, during which time an inch and a half of rain fell. Many flies were observed crawling across the Twinkie's surface, but contrary to hypothesis, birds, even pigeons, avoided this potential source of substance. Despite the rain and prolonged exposure to the sun, the Twinkie retained its original color and form. When removed, the Twinkie was found to be substantially dehydrated. Cracked open, it was observed to have taken on the consistency of industrial foam insulation; the filling however, retained its advertised "creaminess"RadiationA Twinkie was placed in a conventional microwave oven, which was set for precisely 4 minutes - the approximate cooking time of bacon. After 20 seconds, the oven began to emit the Twinkie's rich, characteristic more...
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and some peanut butter?
A: Either an elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth, or peanut butter that never forgets.
An italian, a mexican, and a redneck constuction worker all sat down one day to eat their lunch on top of a building they were working on. The italian opens his lunch and looks in and says "Salami again! If I get salami one more day, I'm gonna jump off this building" The mexican opens his lunch and says "Burrito again! If I get a burrito one more day, I am gonna jump off this building" The redneck opens his lunch and says "P-nut butter and jelly again! If I get p-nut butter and jelly one more day, I am gonna jump off this building. The next day at lunch, the Italian opens his lunch and finds salami so he jumps off the building. The mexican opens his lunch and finds a burrito so he jumps off the building. The redneck opens his lunch and finds p-nut butter and jelly so he jumps off the building. Later, at the funeral the Italians wife cries out "I didn't know he disliked salami so much" The mexican's wife cries out "I wish I knew he was so sick of more...
The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Tex.) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.) in the House Judiciary Committee
hearings on the impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton.The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.He felt like he was being hunted down like a dog, in a place that hunts dogs, I suppose.The lamp just sat there, more...