Camp Jokes / Recent Jokes
A LARGE, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack.The very next day, a skinny little guy showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks' door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to scram."Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the skinny man."Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the lumberjack."Take your axe and go cut it down!"The skinny man headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the lumberjack's door. "I cut the tree down," said the little man.The lumberjack couldn't believe his eyes and said, "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?""In the Sahara Forest," replied the puny man."You mean the Sahara Desert," said the lumberjack.The little man laughed and answered back..."Oh sure, that's what they call it now!
New camper: I thought you said this camp has no mosquitoes. Old camper: That's right. These mosquitoes come from the camp down the road!
1689 - Spanish-German explorer Santa Claus discovers the North Pole, and establishes a small base camp.
1691 - Because of harsh and meager living conditions, Claus' crew abandons him. 1692 - Claus is rescued by the Viking ship Hvorfor. He returns to Europe, bringing some items along with him from the North Pole. He finds he is able to sell them quite easily, making a small profit. 1703 - Claus saves up enough money to buy a small ship and crew, and returns to the North Pole. Upon arriving, he finds his base camp, half-buried but still intact. 1704 - Claus returns to Europe with a shipload of North Pole artifacts, and is successful in selling them. He makes enough profit to increase his crew, and buys building materials to expand his polar base.
1705 - Claus returns again to the North Pole, and builds quarters for him and his crew, and sets up the Polar Exports Company.
1716 - After six shiploads of exports, the European market is flooded with polar more...
A tribute to the United States Marine Corps and the reasons why they are superior to the many organizations of the world. . . * United States Marine Corps Birthday: 10 NOVEMBER 1775 * 1) Best haircut. Hands down. You can't have a bad hair day with a high and tight. And you spend less on shampoo. 2) Dress blues. They're the coolest uniforms in any military worldwide. 3) Bloused trousers. Another distinctive Marine look that sets the proudest service members apart. 4) The rest of the Marine sea bag. From the Alphas to the camouflage utilities, uniforms just look better on a Marine than any other service member. 5) Marines don't wear dungarees. 6) Most respect I. When the Marines pulled out of Haiti and Somalia, the media reported the U. S. military was pulling out -- as if tens of thousands of Army troops weren't still in the country. Now that's respect. 7) Most respect II. When the Corps came back to Haiti after 60 years, an old man on the Cap-Haitien beach said ``Welcome back!'' 8) more...
When I was a child my family used to sometimes take our vacations, in British Columbia. In those days all Canadians appreciated their American neighbors. We had a favorite place to visit, mostly because of the fine fishing. It was at a Lake that was about 30 miles long and a 1/2 mile wide.
While we were around our campfire in the evening the local Indians would go from camp to camp selling their wares. They would also tell of the Legends of the area. This one Legend always stuck in my mind.
It seemed that on this particular Lake two Indian Tribes made their homes. They were, however, at War, with one another from years before.
There was an Indian Maiden in one Camp who was in love with a young Brave in the other Camp. They used to stand, on the shore, each on their respective side of the Lake, and chant Indian love calls to each other... even though they were warned by their Chiefs that nothing could ever come of it. One day they just could not stand more...
Jon starts working in a lumber camp. The boss says, "We work twelve hours a day, we eat two meals a day, lights out at ten-thirty, and you can put your dick in the barrel over there for a blow job any day but Thursday."Jon says, "Why not Thursday?"The boss says, "Because Thursday is your turn in the barrel."
A tribute to the United States Marine Corps and the reasons why they are superior to the many organizations of the world...* United States Marine Corps Birthday: 10 NOVEMBER 1775 * 1) Best haircut. Hands down. You can't have a bad hair day with a high and tight. And you spend less on shampoo. 2) Dress blues. They're the coolest uniforms in any military worldwide. 3) Bloused trousers. Another distinctive Marine look that sets the proudest service members apart. 4) The rest of the Marine sea bag. From the Alphas to the camouflage utilities, uniforms just look better on a Marine than any other service member. 5) Marines don't wear dungarees. 6) Most respect I. When the Marines pulled out of Haiti and Somalia, the media reported the U.S. military was pulling out - as if tens of thousands of Army troops weren't still in the country. Now that's respect. 7) Most respect II. When the Corps came back to Haiti after 60 years, an old man on the Cap-Haitien beach said ''Welcome back!'' 8) more...