Camp Jokes / Recent Jokes

10. She wants her own intern.
9. She wants to complete her china and silver collection.
8. Brother-in-law Roger needs another pardon.
7. She wants to lease the Lincoln Bedroom to Marc Rich.
6. She wants to rename Camp David to Camp Denise.
5. She wants to pick up the rest of the furniture.
4. She wants to return to public housing.
3. She wants the top floor of the Trump Tower when she leaves.
2. She misses her hairdresser.
1. Bill needs a pardon.

Last year Mrs JimJr and I took separate vacations. I cleaned out the garage, while she straightened up the basement.
Mrs JimJr is something to take on vacation anyway. I swear!!! That woman is descended from Noah. She takes two of everything.
Last time we went down to Hilton Head in South Carolina, we got lucky and made real good time. The main highway was open while the detour was being repaired.
I once worked with a very attractive single girl who loved to go on vacation. Each year when Rene returned, she'd give ya a beau-by-beau account of her two weeks.
Italy was fantastic. Rome took my breath away. Venice left me speechless. And then there was Florence... she got me for over $500 in Traveler's Checks.
Mrs JimJr seems to feel one should get their money's worth on vacation. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to frolic every minute or not. But once when I was sitting in a beach chair on the sand, she came out of the surf and said, "This is costing us $300 a day - more...

There were three medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of the lake, over which the kingdoms had been fighting for years. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island.
The night before the battle, the knights and their squires pitched camp and readied themselves for the fight. The first kingdom had 12 knights, and each knight had five squires, all of whom were busily polishing armor, brushing horses, and cooking food. The second kingdom had twenty knights, and each knight had 10 squires. Everyone at that camp was also busy preparing for battle. At the camp of the third kingdom, there was only one knight, with his squire. This squire took a large pot and hung it from a looped rope in a tall tree. He busied himself preparing the meal, while the knight polished his own armor.
When the hour of the battle came, the three kingdoms sent their squires out to fight more...

Boot camp. Duluth, Minnesota. February. Six A.M. Six below zero.
The Sergeant bellows, "Outta those bunks! Birthday suit inspection! I want you
(deleted) to fall in outside, NOW! Buck nekkid! Stand close enough to make the
man in front of you smile! MOVE, YOU #@$$&*s!"
The barracks quickly empty, the men fall in and shiver at attention.
The Sergeant hollers, "LOOSEN RANKS!"
The ranks separate a bit. The Captain approaches, carrying a swagger stick.
With the stick, he swats one of the men across the chest.
"Did that hurt, Mister?" the Captain demands.
"No, SIR!" the recruit shouts.
"Why not?" barks the Captain.
"Because I'm a U.S. Marine, SIR!"
The Captain nods, and moves on down the front rank a bit. He whacks another man
across the butt.
"Did that hurt, Mister?"
"No, SIR!"
"Why not?"
"Because I'm a U.S. Marine, more...

A tribute to the United States Marine Corps and the reasons why they are superior to the many organizations of the world. . .

* United States Marine Corps Birthday: 10 NOVEMBER 1775 *

1) Best haircut. Hands down. You can't have a bad hair day with a high and tight. And you spend less on shampoo.

2) Dress blues. They're the coolest uniforms in any military worldwide.

3) Bloused trousers. Another distinctive Marine look that sets the proudest service members apart.

4) The rest of the Marine sea bag. From the Alphas to the camouflage utilities, uniforms just look better on a Marine than any other service member.

5) Marines don't wear dungarees.

6) Most respect I. When the Marines pulled out of Haiti and Somalia, the media reported the U. S. military was pulling out -- as if tens of thousands of Army troops weren't still in the country. Now that's respect.

7) Most respect II. When the Corps came back more...

Three guys, the American captain, an Australian and a Japanese guy are shipwrecked on an island.
On reaching shore, the American asks the Australian to find a good spot for a camp.
He turns to the Japanese guy and says to go into the bush and get supplies.
'I'll scout the island and we'll meet at the camp at dusk,' said the captain.
The captain returns to find the Australian has set up camp but the Japanese guy hadn't returned.
'Where's that Jap with the supplies?' said the captain.
The night passes and still there is no sign of the Jap with the supplies, so they go looking for him.
They scout the whole island but can't find him.
Just as they are returning to camp, the Jap jumps out from behind a tree and shouts, 'Surplize, surplize.'

A tribute to the United States Marine Corps and the reasons why they are superior to the many organizations of the world. . .
* United States Marine Corps Birthday: 10 NOVEMBER 1775 *
1) Best haircut. Hands down. You can’t have a bad hair day with a high and tight. And you spend less on shampoo.
2) Dress blues. They’re the coolest uniforms in any military worldwide.
3) Bloused trousers. Another distinctive Marine look that sets the proudest service members apart.
4) The rest of the Marine sea bag. From the Alphas to the camouflage utilities, uniforms just look better on a Marine than any other service member.
5) Marines don’t wear dungarees.
6) Most respect I. When the Marines pulled out of Haiti and Somalia, the media reported the U. S. military was pulling out - as if tens of thousands of Army troops weren’t still in the country. Now that’s respect.
7) Most respect II. When the Corps came back to Haiti after 60 years, an old man on more...