Camp Jokes / Recent Jokes
One of Microsoft's top technicians was drafted and sent off to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given instructions, a rifle and some bullets. After firing several shots at the target, the report from the target area indicated that all shots had completely missed.
The technician looked at his rifle, then the target, then looked at both again. Placing his finger over the end of the rifle barrel, he squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, which prompted him to yell toward the target area, "It's leaving here just fine. The trouble must be at your end!"
Top 10 Summer Camps you should not send your kids to: 10. Tommy Lee's---------- Camp Kickachickee9. Lorena Bobbit's------ Camp Cutaweewee8. Tanya Harding's------ Camp Wackaneenee7. Kenneth Star's------- Camp Catchacrookee6. Louis Farakahn's----- Camp Killawhitey5. O. J. Simpson's------- Camp Killachickee4. Michael Jackson's---- Camp Wannabewhitey3. President Clinton's-- Camp Getahoochie2. Ellen Degeneras's---- Camp Lickacoochie And the number one camp not to send your kid to: 1. Monica Lewinsky's---- Camp Suckapeepee
A mom, dad and their 10 year old girl, went down to Florida to visit a nudist camp.
The girl goes walking around on the beach and comes back to her mother and says, "Mommy, mommy, women down here have bigger breasts than you."
The mom replied, "That's right honey, but the bigger they are the dumber they are."
The girl goes and walks around again. She comes back to her mom and says, "Mommy, mommy, guys down here have bigger penises than dad."
The mom replied, "That's right honey, but the bigger they are the dumber they are."
The girl goes on her way and comes running back to her mom again.
"Mommy, mommy, dad is talking to this really dumb blonde and the longer he talks the dumber he gets."
It was decided by Microsoft during a brilliant brainstorming session that military service would improve the skills and discipline of their finest technician. So off to boot camp he went.
At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets.
He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.
The Microsoft tech looked at his rifle and then at the target again.
"Hmmm.," he thought, "I'll get to the bottom of this in no time."
He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He pointed his still loaded rifle at the ground in front of him and fired. A cloud of dust kicked up, and a little dimple was left there in the dust.
"Yep, it's working," he concluded.
The technician yelled out to the others at the target end, "The rifle is in working order, and the bullet seems to be more...
Jack went to see the camp nurse. I fell last night, he said. And I was unconscious for eight hours. The nurse was shocked. How awful. What happened? I fell asleep!
A wildlife biologist crew leader has several crews, each consisting of two biologists. The crews camped and worked in the woods and he made his rounds to visit each pair every few days. One particular crew, Sarah and Jim, were not getting nearly as much work accomplished as the others, so he suspected that they might be up to some funny business. The following day, he paid them a visit. "Is anything funny going on here"? he asked. "What do you mean by that?" the pair asked back. "I mean, you're not getting much fieldwork done. Are you two, you know, maybe doing something you're not supposed to do?" "Absolutely not!" the Jim replied. " We are strictly co-workers" "Oh yes," the Sarah replied, " We hike all day, record our data, return back, and fall asleep exhausted. "That's right!" Jim replied, "and me in my tent, and she in hers!" The crew supervisor spent the remainder of the day in th e field with more...
Once upon a time, long, long ago there were two unique lions in the jungles of Africa. Both, it seems, had human-like qualities that made them claim territory, daring the other to cross over the line. Strange as it seems, the boundary between their turf was a well traveled trail through the jungle.All day every day, both lions lay in the brush staring across the trail at their compatriot, daring him to cross into their territory.The local natives knew of this animal feud, but all this was unbeknown to African Jack, a well-known and must publicized guide who did not speak Lionese and was unfamiliar with the territory.While he was leading a safari through the jungle, walking all day and cutting vines with their machetes, all this constant hacking brush had them worn to a frazzle. After seeing two or three of his safari drop from exhaustion, African Jack decided to stop on the trail between these two lions and camp for the night.After sitting up camp, eating, and getting his safari more...