Camp Jokes / Recent Jokes

Banta joins the suicide bomber squad, so when he is given a mission to commit suicide in the enemies camp. His leader supplies him a lot of weapons and bombs stacked to his body and mobile for communications

He lands up in the enemy’s camp, called his boss: sir, there are 2 enemies soldier, can i commit suicide now?

Leader: no, not for two, wait till you see more soldiers.

Banta: sir now there are 25 soldiers, can i do it now?

Boss: wait for more.

Banta: sir, now i am in a midst of 100 soldiers, can i do it now?

Boss: yes, go ahead, you will be a martyr, don’t worry about your family, we will look after.

Banta pulls his knife and stabs himself in his chest.

Billy's Letters
The following appeared in a computer magazine in Mr. Dvorak's column:
Dear Mr. Dvorak:
Ann Landers wouldn't print this. I have nowhere else to turn. I have to get the word out. Warn other parents. I must be rambling on. Let me try and explain.
It's about my son, Billy. He's always been a good, normal ten year old boy. Well, last spring we sat down after dinner to select a summer camp for Billy. We sorted through the camp brochures. There were the usual camps with swimming, canoeing, games, singing by the campfire - you know. There were sports camps and specialty camps for weight reduction, music, military camps and camps that specialized in Tibetan knot tying.
I tried to talk him into Camp Winnepoopoo. It's where he went last year. (He made an adorable picture out of painted pinto beans and macaroni). Billy would have none of it. Billy pulled a brochure out of his pocket. It was for a COMPUTER CAMP!
We should have put our foot down right there, more...

In the far reaches of the Canadian wilderness, a new arrival at the lumberjack camp was settling down for the night in the men's dormitory with the rest of the guys after his first day on the job. The lights were turned off and suddenly he hears one guy call out "Twenty three!"... there is a roar of laughter from all the beds around the room, and another guy calls out "Forty seven"... more laughter follows. This goes on for a few more minutes until finally everyone settles down and goes to sleep.
The next morning, the newbie asks one of the other lumberjacks what all the laughter and numbers was about. He is told that they have all been there for so long at this camp, that they know all the jokes, and that each one is merely given a number... so when it comes to joke telling after lights-out, it is just a simple case of saying the number of the joke that is being told.
So, that evening, after lights-out, the same thing happens.. "Eighteen!"... and more...

The Counselor was greeting the new campers.' So you decided to come to camp,' she said to one.' Nope,' the camper answered.' I was sent to camp!'

One time there was an army camp in India that just received a new commander. During the new commanders first inspection everything checked out except one thing. There was a camel tied to a tree on the edge of the camp. The commander asked what it was for, one of the soldiers who had been stationed there for a while explained to him that the men sometimes get lonely since there where no woman there so they have the camel. The commander just let that go, but after a few weeks he was feeling very lonely so he ordered the men to bring the camel into his tent. The men did, and he went to work on it. After about an hour the commander came out zipped up his pants and said, "So is that how the other men do it?" One of the men responded, "No we usually just use the camel to ride into town."

At the end of camp, Julie won the prize for neatest trunk. Her mother was amazed.' How did your trunk get so neat?' she asked her messy daughter.' It was easy,' said Julie.' I just never unpacked!'

On the last day of camp everyone was asked the same question:' What is the best part of the camp?' One wise guy answered,' Going home!'