Camp Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two old guys and a [ethnic] go hunting.The first night, one old man
comes back with a deer.
"How'd ya' get it?" the [ethnic] asked.
"Follow the tracks, follow the tracks-BOOM-got me a deer."
The second night, the other old man comes back to camp with two
deer.
"How'd ya' get 'em?" the [ethnic] asked.
"Follow the tracks, follow the tracks-BOOM-got me two deer."
On the third night, the [ethnic]'s out until three in the morning.
He comes staggering into the camp all beat up, with torn clothes,
tons of bruises, and a lot of fractures.
"What happened to you?" asked one of the old men.
"Follow the tracks, follow the tracks-BOOM-got hit by a train."

Once upon a time, long, long ago there were two unique lions in the jungles of Africa. Both, it seems, had human-like qualities that made them claim territory, daring the other to cross over the line. Strange as it seems, the boundary between their turf was a well traveled trail through the jungle.
All day every day, both lions lay in the brush staring across the trail at their compatriot, daring him to cross into their territory.
The local natives knew of this animal feud, but all this was unbeknown to African Jack, a well-known and must publicized guide who did not speak Lionese and was unfamiliar with the territory.
While he was leading a safari through the jungle, walking all day and cutting vines with their machetes, all this constant hacking brush had them worn to a frazzle. After seeing two or three of his safari drop from exhaustion, African Jack decided to stop on the trail between these two lions and camp for the night.
After sitting up camp, eating, and more...

One summer night, while Little Johnny was at camp, he woke up in the middle of the night. He was scared of the sounds from the woods around the camp, so he ran to the camp leader's shack. He banged on the door, and the gorgeous blonde camp leader, dressed in only her nightie, opened the door.
"I can't sleep! The woods are spooking me, can I sleep in here with you?"
"No! Go back to bed", replied the blonde. "Please? My mom lets me sleep with her when I'm scared."
The blonde thought for a minute and said ok. They laid down, and Johnny asked if he could play with her belly button. "NO! Why would you do that?!"
"My mom let's me when I'm scared, and I'm feeling really homesick!"
"Fine, go ahead. If it makes you feel better, I don't see the harm in it."
She pulls up her nightie so he can play with her belly button. A moment passes and the blonde shouts out "Hey!! That's not my belly more...

One of Microsoft`s finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target. One of Microsoft`s finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.

Three Indians, a redhead, a brunette and a blonde, had set up camp and became very much in need of food, so they went out hunting.
A little while had passed and the brunette came back to camp with a bear. The other two asked how he got the bear. He said, "I see the tracks, I follow the tracks, I get the bear."
The next day, they go hunting again and the redhead comes back to camp with a deer. The other two asked how he got the deer. He said, "I see the tracks, I follow the tracks, I get the deer."
The following day, they go hunting again and the blonde comes back to camp all bloody and disfigured. The other two asked what happened. He said, "I see the tracks, I follow the tracks, I get hit by train."

A new lieutenent in the French Foreign Legion arrives at an isolated base in Algeria. As a corporal shows him is quarters, he asks the corporal, "The base is rather isolated, what do the men do for female companionship?"The corporal replies, "On Fridays, they let us use the camels."The lieutenent can't beleive it. On Friday, he stands around the camel pen to see what happens. Suddenly, he hears the camp bugler blow a charge on his horn.The ensuing chaos was amazing... men from all over the camp decended on the camel pens like huns attacking a village. Out of the swarm of men, the lieutenent sees the same corporal he met on his first day. He grabs the man by the arm. The corporal shouts, "Let me go! Let me go!""Good God man," said the lieutenent. "There are 200 men here and 500 camels. What's your hurry?"The corporal replied, "I don't want to get stuck with an ugly one!"

The History of Santa Claus - Part 1
======================
== The Untold Story ==
======================
1689
Spanish-German explorer Santa Claus discovers the North Pole, and
establishes a small base camp.
1691
Because of harsh and meager living conditions, Claus' crew
abandons him.
1692
Claus is rescued by the Viking ship Hvorfor. He returns to Europe,
bringing some items along with him from the North Pole. He finds
he is able to sell them quite easily, making a small profit.
1703
Claus saves up enough money to buy a small ship and crew, and
returns to the North Pole. Upon arriving, he finds his base camp,
half-buried but still intact.
1704
Claus returns to Europe with a shipload of North Pole artifacts,
and is successful in selling them. He makes enough profit to
increase his crew, and buys building materials to expand his polar
base.
1705
Claus returns again to more...