Canadians Jokes / Recent Jokes
· Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
· Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
· Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
· Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.
· Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
· Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.
· Americans: Believe that people should look out for & take care of themselves.
· Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job.
· Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer.
· Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
· Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them.
· Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.
· Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no-one more...
This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a U.S. naval
ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.
Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.
Americans: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a
collision."
Canadians: "Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to
avoid a collision."
Americans: "This is the Captain of a U.S. Navy ship. I say again, divert
your course."
Canadians: "No. I say again, you divert your course."
Americans: "This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship
in the United States' Atlantic Fleet! We are accompanied by three destroyers,
three cruisers and numerous support vessels! I demand that you change your
course 15 degrees North, that's one-five degrees North, or counter-measures will
be undertaken to ensure the safety of this more...
This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.
Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.
Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS MISSOURI, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.
Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations on November 10, 1995.
Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations on November 10, 1995. Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course. Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.
Americans: Believe that people should look out for and take care of themselves.
Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job.
Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.
Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch 4 channels.
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.
Americans: Love to watch sports on the idiot box.
Brits: Love to watch sports in stadiums so they more...
Transcript of the actual radio conversation of a us naval ship with Canadian autorities off the coast of Newfoundland:
Canadian: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision. Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision. Americans: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert your course. Canadians: No. I say again, you must divert your course. Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers, and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees north, I say again, that's one five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship. Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.