Carnival Jokes / Recent Jokes

A carnival, which included a huckster with an elephant, was travelling through a small town. The huckster was offering people $100 if they could make the elephant nod its head up and down. Many people tried, but no one was successful. Finally, a small quiet individual appeared and timidly asked if he could try.
He promptly walked around the elephant and gave it a good swift kick in the backside. The elephant was so surprised, it jerked its head up and down. The little man pocketed his $100 and walked away.
The following year, the same carnival returned, with the same huckster and the same elephant. The huckster had decided to make sure he wouldn't lose any more money in this town, so he offered $500 to anyone who could make the elephant nod its head up and down, then shake it from side to side.
Again, many people tried. They pulled the elephant's ears, pulled its tail, tickeled it, etc., but no one was successful. Finally, the same little man appeared and asked if he could more...

Three ducks were to begin migrating south for the winter. The first duck tells the other two ducks that it is the same boring trip every year, so to spice it up, he suggested a little contest. While flying south, the duck that bombs the most people will be the winner. So the first duck flies away and happens upon a county fair. He flies over the crowd of people and drops a load of shit, hitting five people. The second duck flies upon a carnival and he too drops a load of shit, hitting eight people. The third duck flies over a crowd of people, but before he could drop his load he feels and sees something pink stuck in his ass. As the three ducks meet at the South Pole, the first duck brags he hit five people at a county fair. The second duck brags he hit eight people at a carnival. The third duck said,"Just my damn luck, I had to fly over a paintball tournament!"

Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe.
"I want to get weighed," she said.
They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 115 and she won a prize.
Next the couple went on the ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do.
"I want to get weighed," she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar. The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next.
"I want to get weighed," she responded.
By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?"
Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."

edJoe took his blonde blind date to a seaside carnival.
'What would you like to do first, Kim?' asked Joe.
'I want to get weighed,' she said.
They ambled over to the weight guesser, who guessed 70 kg. Kim got on the scale and it read 67 kg and she won a prize. .
Next the couple went on the ferris wheel. When the ride was over,
Joe again asked Kim what she wanted to do next.
'I want to get weighed,' she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went and because she'd been there before the man guessed Kim's correct weight and Joe lost his dollar.
Kim and Joe walked around the carnival and again he asked,
'Where to next?'
Kim responded: 'I want to get weighed,' but by this time Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.
Her flatmate, Laura, asked Kim about her blind date, 'How'd it go?' she asked.
Kim said, 'Oh, Waura, it was wousy.'

Jim took his blind date, Kelly, to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kelly?" Jim asked.
"I want to get weighed," Kelly said, so they went over to the weight guesser. He guessed 125 pounds. Kelly got on the scale, it read 122 and she won a prize.
Next, they went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Jim again asked Kelly what she would like to do.
"I want to get weighed," Kelly replied.
Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had already been there, he guessed her weight correctly and Jim lost his dollar.
They walked around the carnival and again, Jim asked her what she would like to do next. "I want to get weighed," she responded.
By this time, Jim thought she was really weird and took her home, dropped her off and ended the evening with a handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date. "How did it go?" asked Laura.
"Oh, Waura, it was wousy!" Kelly more...