Carol Jokes / Recent Jokes

No one can fracture a Christmas carol better than a kid. Sing along with these new takes on old favorites:
Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly
We three kings of porridge and tar
On the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to me
Later on we'll perspire, as we dream by the fire.
He's makin' a list, chicken and rice.
Noel. Noel, Barney's the king of Israel.
With the jelly toast proclaim
Olive, the other reindeer.
Frosty the Snowman is a ferret elf, I say
Sleep in heavenly peas
In the meadow we can build a snowman, Then pretend that he is sparse and brown
You'll go down in listerine
Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay
Come, froggy faithful
You'll tell Carol, "Be a skunk, I require"
Good tidings we bring to you and your kid

A Teacher was trying to get her class to pay attention the last few days of school so she came up with a project that her students had to go home and make their parents tell them a story and have a moral to it. The next day all the kids had great stories and then Jimmy raised his hand and the teacher asked him if he had a story and he said you bet"Its about my Aunt Carol, she was a pilot flying over Iraq and she got shot down and all she had was a pistol, a knife and a bottle of wisky! so she quickly drank the bottle of wisky because she figured she fall into a group of Iraqies! So, sure enough she fell into a group of 12 Iraqies, she shot 9 of them with her pistol,2 of them with her knife until it broke and strangled 1 with her bare hands" and asked if it had a moral to it and he said "You bet, don't mess with my Aunt Carol when she is drinking."

The Bird Question A blonde named Pam is appearing on “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” with Regis Philbin. Regis: “Pam, you’re up to $500, 000 with one lifeline left: phone a friend.
If you get it right, the next question is worth one million dollars. If you get it wrong, you drop back to $32, 000. Are you ready? ” Pam: “Yes. ”
Regis: “Which of the following birds does not build its own nest?
Is it A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) thrush. ”
Pam: “I’d like to phone a friend. I’d like to call Carol. ”
Carol (also a blonde) answers the phone: “Hello? ”
Regis: “Hello Carol, it’s Regis Philbin from Who Wants to be a Millionaire. I have your friend Pam here who needs your help to answer the one million dollar question. The next voice you hear will be Pam’s…”
Pam: “Carol, which of the following birds does not build it’s own nest?
Is it A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) thrush. ” Carol: “Oh geez, more...

A blond named Pam is appearing on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" with Regis Philbin
Regis: "Pam, you're up to $500,000 with one lifeline left: phone a friend. If you get it right, the next question is worth one million dollars. If you get it wrong, you drop back to $32,000. Are you ready?"
Pam: "Yes."
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) thrush."
Pam: "I'd like to phone a friend. I'd like to call Carol."
Carol (also a blond) answers the phone: "Hello?"
Regis: "Hello Carol, it's Regis Philbin from Who Wants to be a Millionaire. I have your friend Pam here who needs your help to answer the one million dollar question. The next voice you hear will be Pam's..."
Pam: "Carol, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) thrush."
Carol: "Oh more...

No one can fracture a Christmas carol better than a kid. Sing along with these new takes on old favorites: Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly We three kings of porridge and tar On the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to me Later on we'll perspire, as we dream by the fire. He's makin' a list, chicken and rice. Noel. Noel, Barney's the king of Israel. With the jelly toast proclaim Olive, the other reindeer. Frosty the Snowman is a ferret elf, I say Sleep in heavenly peas In the meadow we can build a snowman, Then pretend that he is sparse and brown You'll go down in listerine Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay Come, froggy faithful You'll tell Carol, "Be a skunk, I require" Good tidings we bring to you and your kid

A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher asked, "What's theproblem, Carol? I hope it's not homework again.""Well, uh, yes, it is." replied Carol. "I was stupid and made myhomework paper into a paper airplane.""Carol, you're right, that wasn't a very bright thing to do," said theteacher, "but this once I'll let you just unfold the paper and hand itin.""Oh, but that won't work," said Carol, looking even sadder. "You see, the plane was hijacked."

He: I couldn't help notice that book you're reading.

She: Oh yes,' How to Get the Most Out of Sex.' Very educational. Did you know that American Indians and the Polish are reputed to be the best lovers? Oh, I'm sorry, we haven't met, my name is Carol.

He: Glad to meet you Carol. My name is Flying Cloud Kowalski.