Cattle Jokes / Recent Jokes

He was just casually sipping his beer, relaxing and listening to the music. Suddenly, someone burst through the door. "Joe! Joe, your barn is on fire!"The man leapt up from the bar, ran outside, jumped on his horse and started galloping away. He rode for a couple minutes, then thought, "wait a minute... I don't have a barn!" So he turned around and went back to the bar and his beer.He was working on his second beer when another man came storming into the bar. "Joe! Joe! Someone is stealing all your cattle!"The man leapt out of his seat, got on his horse, and started galloping away. He rode for a few minutes and thought, "Wait a minute! I don't have any cattle!" So he turned around and returned to the bar.He was working on his fourth beer when yet another man stormed into the bar. "Joe! Joe! Someone is screwing your extremely beautiful wife!"The man leapt up, got on his horse and started galloping away. He rode for a few minutes and more...

An article appeared in the Denver Rocky Mountain News today:
When President Clinton heard there were 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado, he immediately ordered Interior Secretary Bruce Babbitt to fire half of them.
Pat Schroeder, Congresswoman from Colorado stepped to request that the cattle guards should receive six months of retraining.
Newspaper people in the state swear this is all true!
We KNOW this is bunk! Cattle Guards have a union!