Caveman Jokes

It you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.

Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and your friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

When I was a kid, my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in awhile he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.

I think people tend to forget that trees are living creatures. They're sort of like dogs. Huge, quiet, motionless dogs, with bark instead of fur.

If you drop your keys into molten lava just let' em go' cause, man, they're gone.

Contrary to popular more...

A challenge for a joke on Pithecanthropus met with a suitably lame response:
Brad the caveman was wandering around the steamy jungle when he was attacked by a sabertooth tiger.
During the tussle they both fell into a hole dug by Brad's tribe, who were the first ever humans to try this method of catching animals for food. The tribe hearing the noise of the fight raced to the hole, which they called a Pit and were joined by another tribe, who were still using the throw-stones at the animal method.
The Headman from this latter tribe couldn't work out what was going on and looking down thought that Brad must be a new type of man. The Headman grunted "nggh mfguk wolhj" (or "What him be?").
At that moment Brad got the upper hand on the largest member of the cat family and lifting the big pussy up flung it out of the pit.
The Headman of Brad's tribe arrived and asked what had happened to which one of his tribe pointed at the hole and said more...