Cell Jokes / Recent Jokes

How to identify where a driver is from... One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: New YorkOne hand on wheel, one finger out window: ChicagoOne hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: BostonOne hand on wheel, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator: California *with gun in lap: L. A. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: ItalyOne hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game: SeattleOne hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonalds bag out the window: Texas city maleOne hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 70mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of more...

One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: New York One hand on wheel, one finger out window: Chicago One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator: California With gun in lap: L.A. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game: Seattle One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonalds bag out the window: Texas city male One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 70mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of the road: Texas country male One hand more...

Why did the Redneck spend four hours walking around in his field, He was trying to get a signal on his turned off cell phone

Morris a young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife Sherry something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day Sherry, the blonde, goes shopping.
Her phone rings and it`s her husband Morris, "Hi honey, "He says, How do you like your new phone?"
"I just love it, it`s so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there s one thing I don`t understand. How did you know I was at the beauty parlor? "

I'm picturing lovely ribbons winding like candy canes down the iron
bars, and useful storage containers she's built that glide easily below
her bunk bed in which she'll store sheets and linens from K-Mart's
going-out-of-business sale.
The lone toilet will be transformed into a bouquet spilling over with
toilet paper flowers, into which a trickling cascade of water will flow
from the sink in a bird bath-like fashion, in an effort to attract sparrows
through the open bars of her window.
Once trapped in her cell, the sparrows will be slowly roasted with
matches for which Martha will have gotten by beating up her cellmate.
They will be stuffed with acorns found in the prison courtyard. I hear
it's Martha's intention to collect enough birds to offer a Thanksgiving
feast to all those who continue to subscribe to her magazine, even
while in prison, although she has asked that each of them commit
to a year of service as part of her newly more...

A recent study found no association between short or long-term cell phone use and brain tumors, eye tumors, or leukemias.

This announcement was brought to you by Verizon Wireless, Sprint and T-Mobile.

In Michigan, three men of Arab descent were arrested for possessing 1,000 untraceable cell phones, most of which were purchased at local Wal-Marts. Still at large, Wal-Mart.