Cellular Jokes / Recent Jokes
1. Take the batteries out of all the remotes in the house. (Hide them well.)
2. Organize his workshop, bedroom, or other special place.
3. Bribe his faithful dog away from him with a steady diet of Ring Dings.
4. Shrink his underwear in the dryer and when he complains, innocently suggest that he's gained a few pounds.
5. Stare at his forehead and when he notices, casually ask if there is any history of male pattern baldness on his mother's side.
6. "Accidentally" fill the gas tank of his new Porsche with diesel.
7. Repeatedly misplace the cordless phone, preferably in a different room each time.
8. Repeatedly lose his cellular phone in restaurants around town.
9. Loan his precious cellular phone to a pregnant girlfriend who "needs it more than he does."
10. Insist upon a lot of "meaningful conversations."
11. If you live together, have your mother more...
Since 1-April-97, competition has been very keen in Singapore's cellular phone market due to the new entrant M1. Before that, there was only one operator, that's why no one covers more of Singapore than Singtel Mobile, absolutely no one. AMPS was the first system that Singtel launched, an Ageing Mobile Phone System. After that they realized that the system is outdated and they put up another system ETACS which the subscribers were not very happy about because it was Extremely Tough to Access Call System. Then came the 2nd generation cellular technologies, which Singtel was working with Ericsson to implement - GSM. After some time, Singtel found that things are Getting Slightly Messy, so they decided it was time to go into 3rd generation technology, PCN. However it is a very Poor Coverage Network and every time subscriber wants to make a call, they Phui Chao Nua because they can't get thru. So Singtel decides to rename PCN to the GSM1800 Network, or Get Some More Idiotic Bums Onto Our more...
Four major executives from various countries are playing golf together. On the second tee they hear a phone ring. The Canadian executive reaches into his bag and pulls out a cellular phone. "O. K. buy 100 shares," the Canadian tells the other person on the phone. Then he looks at the others and says, "I'm such an important person, that I have to make sure my employees can reach me at any time. Therefore I carry a cell phone everywhere." On the next tee, they hear the sound of another phone. All of a sudden, the American puts his finger to his mouth and his thumb to his hear and begins talking. When he gets off the line he tells the others, "I'm so important that I had my company install a microphone in my index finger and a speaker in my thumb. That way, I don't have to worry about carrying a cellular telephone." The people are very impressed and move on down the fairway. On the green, they hear another phone ring. The German stands up tall and says, more...
A group of men are sitting in a sauna discussing
business and stocks when suddenly a cellular
phone rings.
"Hi honey, are you at the club?"
"Yes, dear."
"Honey you won't believe this but I'm standing
in front of Giovannis and there's a beautiful
mink on sale in the window."
"How much is it, dear?"
"They're giving it away. Only $5000.
Can you believe it?"
"But you already have fur coats?"
"Please dear it's absolutely exquisite!"
"Fine, fine go ahead and buy it!"
"Thank you sweetheart. Oh, not to keep
you much longer, I passed by the Mercedes
dealership this morning and saw their new
convertible. It was to die for! I talked to
the salesman and the one in the showroom
is brand new, leather seats, power everything,
gold coloured. What do you think??"
"Honey, come on, we already have more...
Four international businessmen are on the golf course, and there is a ringing sound.
The Canadian guy goes to his golf bag, pulls out his cellular phone and talks for a minute with his office.
"Very important to be in touch these days," he says.
"Yes," his golfing partners agree. A little bit later another, a different ring is heard, and the American golfer holds his hand up to his head (as if to imitate talking on the phone) and starts talking in what is clearly a real conversation.
After the call he explains to his friends, "It's the very latest in cellular technology - a speaker is attached to my thumb, and a microphone to my pinky. You can't even tell I have it on."
A couple of holes later, a different, muted, ringing sound is heard, and the German businessman in the foursome stands erect and begins talking, again an obviously real conversation. When finished he explains, "This really is the latest in cellular technology. A more...
Four major executives from various countries are playing golf together. On the second tee they hear a phone ring.
The Canadian executive reaches into his bag and pulls out a cellular phone. "O.K. buy 100 shares," the Canadian tells the other person on the phone. Then he looks at the others and says, "I'm such an important person, that I have to make sure my employees can reach me at any time. Therefore I carry a cell phone everywhere."
On the next tee, they hear the sound of another phone. All of a sudden, the American puts his finger to his mouth and his thumb to his hear and begins talking. When he gets off the line he tells the others, "I'm so important that I had my company install a microphone in my index finger and a speaker in my thumb. That way, I don't have to worry about carrying a cellular telephone." The people are very impressed and move on down the fairway.
On the green, they hear another phone ring. The German stands up tall and more...
How To Drive Them Crazy!
Here are some ideas to drive men/women crazy. Now, this is only a joke, so don't try this at home!!; -)
To make the MEN crazy:
1. Take the batteries out of all the remotes in the house. (Hide them well.)
2. Organize his workshop, bedroom, or other special place.
3. Bribe his faithful dog away from him with a steady diet of Ring Dings.
4. Shrink his underwear in the dryer and when he complains, innocently suggest that he's gained a few pounds.
5. Stare at his forehead and when he notices, casually ask if there is any history of male pattern baldness on his mother's side.
6.' Accidentally' fill the gas tank of his new Porsche with diesel.
7. Repeatedly misplace the cordless phone, preferably in a different room each time.
8. Repeatedly lose his cellular phone in restaurants around town.
9. Loan his precious cellular phone to a pregnant more...