Cents Jokes / Recent Jokes
There was a little boy named Johnny who used to hang out at the local corner market. The owner didn't know what Johnny's problem was, but the boys would constantly tease him.
They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles short of a barrel. To prove it, sometimes they would offer Johnny his choice between a nickel (5 cents) and a dime (10 cents) and John would always take the nickel -- they said, because it was bigger.
One day after John grabbed the nickel, the store owner took him aside and said "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?"
Slowly, Johnny turned toward the store owner and a big grin appeared on his face and Johnny said, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I have saved $20!"
A boy always asks for 50 cents from his mother. So his mother questioned the boy on why he kept asking for 50 cents. The boy replied that his friend told him that if you eat 50 cents worth of peanuts a day you would become smarter. Quickly his mother gave him $5. The boy asks "Why $5", and the mother replied, "Buy 50 cents of peanut for yourself and buy peanuts for your father with the balance."
I will NOT get bad luck, lose my friends, or lose my mailing lists if I DON'T forward an email!
I will NOT hear any music or see a taco dog, if I do forward an e-mail.
Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money, Victoria Secret doesn't know anything about a gift certificate they're supposed to send me.
Ford will NOT give me a 50% discount even if I forward my e-mail to more than 50 people!
I will NEVER receive gift certificates, coupons, or freebies from Coca Cola, Cracker Barrel, Old Navy, or anyone else if I send an e-mail to 10 people.
I will NEVER see a pop-up window if I forward an e-mail. .. NEVER --NEVER! !
There is NO SUCH THING as an e-mail tracking program, and I am not STUPID enough to think that someone will send me $100 for forwarding an e-mail to 10 or more people!
There is NO kid with cancer through the Make-a-Wish program in England collecting anything! He did when he was 7 years old. He is now more...
A guy gets a new job at a bubble gum shop. One day a guy comes in and asks, "How much is your gum?" So the guy replies, "I don't know." The customer walks out and the manager comes in and says, "You should of said 50 cents."
Another customer comes in and asks, "How much is your gum?" The guy says, "50 cents." Then the customer asks, "Is it fresh," and the guy answers, "I don't know." The customer walks out and the manager comes in and says, "You should have said yes, very very fresh."
So another customer comes in and says, "How much is your gum?" The guys answers, "50 cents." Then the customer asked if it's fresh, to which the guy answers, "Yes very very fresh." The customer then asks, "Should I buy it?" The guy answers, "I don't know." The customer walks out and the manager comes in and says to the guy, "You better do it before somebody else more...
Well, one day, an idiot looking for a job finally came across a cigarette stand that was accepting anyone as there cashier. After being turned down for every job he filed for, he accepts this low paying job.
One day, a woman comes to the stand, "Hey, sonny, how much do those cigaretts cost?"
"I dont know", replies the stupid cashier.
The woman leaves unsatisfied.
THe boss, having seen this goes up to him and screams "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT KNOW, THEY COST 10 CENTS, GOD!!!"
"10 cents? I will have to remember that" said the cashier.
The next day, another woman comes "hey sonny, how much do those cigaretts cost?"
"10 cents ma'am"
"Really?, are they fresh?"
"I dont know"
So the woman leaves.
The boss, having spied this screams "WELL OFCOURSE THEY ARE FRESH YOU NINCOMPOOP, WHAT DO YOU THINK? THEY ARE SOUR OR SOMETHING?"
So the cashier memorizes more...
Well, one day, an idiot looking for a job finally came across a cigarette stand that was accepting anyone as there cashier. After being turned down for every job he filed for, he accepts this low paying job.
One day, a woman comes to the stand, "Hey, sonny, how much do those cigaretts cost?"
"I dont know", replies the stupid cashier.
The woman leaves unsatisfied.
THe boss, having seen this goes up to him and screams "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT KNOW, THEY COST 10 CENTS, GOD!!!"
"10 cents? I will have to remember that" said the cashier.
The next day, another woman comes "hey sonny, how much do those cigaretts cost?"
"10 cents ma'am"
"Really?, are they fresh?"
"I dont know"
So the woman leaves.
The boss, having spied this screams "WELL OFCOURSE THEY ARE FRESH YOU NINCOMPOOP, WHAT DO YOU THINK? THEY ARE SOUR OR SOMETHING?"
So the cashier memorizes more...