Cents Jokes / Recent Jokes
A little old lady sold pretzels on a street corner for 25 cents each. Every day a young man would leave his office building at lunch time. As he passed her pretzel stand, he would leave her a quarter, but would never take a pretzel. This went on for more than five years. The two of them never spoke. One day as the young man passed the old ladies pretzel stand and left his quarter as usual, the pretzel woman spoke to him: " Sir, I appreciate your business. You are a good customer, but I have to let you know that the price of pretzels has increased to 35 cents."
During the election campaign for the election of the American President, a campaigner from the Bush camp happened to meet his counterpart from the Clinton camp.
A conversation ensued, and expectedly, each began to boast of his methods of campaigning.
'Whenever we sit in a cab/ said the Bush supporter,' we give a few extra cents to the cabbie and ask him to vote for Bush.'
Not to be outwitted, the Clinton campaigners replied,' Whenever we take a ride in a cab, we too pay a few cents less to the cabbie, and then ask him to vote for Bush.'
A beggar asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich. I said, "First let me see the sandwich."
there was a blonde, and a red head. the two girls bought a bull. they had 10 cents left. they needed a ride home. the girls decide to write a telegram.its 10 cents a word.so they spend a hour thinking of a word they can use.finaly, the red head said, comfortable! the blonde is stumped.the red head said com-for-the-bull!
If you were born between 1940 and 1950, this is for you!. ... If not, pass it on to someone who was.: )) We were born before television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods, xerox, contact lenses, frisbees and the PILL. We were born before radar, credit cards, split atoms, laser beams and ball-point pens. .. before pantyhose, dishwashers, clothes dryers, electricblankets, air-conditioners, drip-dry clothes -- and before man walked on themoon. We got married first -- and THEN lived together. How quaint can you be??
In our time, closets were for clothes, not for "coming out" of. Bunnies were small rabbits, and rabbits were not Volkswagons. Designer jeans were scheming girls named Jean or Jeannie. And having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with our cousins. We thought fast food was what we ate during lent, and Outer Space was the back of the Riviera Theatre. We were born before house-husbands, gay rights, computer dating, dual careers and computer more...
The Bachelor DietMondayBreakfast - Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallowsome toothpaste while brushing your teethLunch - Send your secretary out for six "gutbombers"- those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime butnow cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, abowl of chilli, a soft drink and have her stop on theway back for a family size bottle of maalox. Afternoon Snack - Drink the maaloxDinner - Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chickenthree-piece Dinner, don't eat the coleslaw. TuesdayBreakfast - Eat the coleslawLunch - Go to the office vending machine and put ninetyfive cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eatwhatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea. Dinner - Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's. WednesdayBreakfast - Jaws couldn't eat Breakfast after a night atEl Flasho'sLunch - Rolaids and a cokeDinner - Drop in at a married friends house and beg forscrapsThursdayBreakfast - Order out for pizzaLunch - Your more...
Why did the penny, but not the quarter jump off the cliff?
Because the quarter had more common cents!