Century Jokes / Recent Jokes

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
...George W. Bush
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
...Governor George W. Bush
"Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
...Governor George W. Bush
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
...Governor George W. Bush, 8/11/94
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
...Governor George W. Bush, 9/15/95
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
...Governor George W. Bush, more...

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
...George W. Bush"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
...Governor George W. Bush"Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
...Governor George W. Bush"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
...Governor George W. Bush, 8/11/94"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
...Governor George W. Bush, 9/15/95"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
...Governor George W. Bush, 5/22/98"One word sums up more...

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
-Al Gore
"Democrats understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
- Vice President Al Gore
"Welcome to President Clinton, Mrs. Clinton, and my fellow astronauts."
-Vice President Al Gore
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, & water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
-Vice President Al Gore, 8/11/94
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
- Vice President Al Gore, 9/15/95
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
-Vice President Al Gore, more...

I am sad to say this is the next leader of the Free World
These are the quotes of George W. Bush JR.:
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure".
...George W. Bush, JR.
"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."
...Governor George W. Bush, JR.
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
...Governor George W. Bush, JR.
"Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
...Governor George W. Bush, JR.
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important.
We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
...Governor George W. Bush, JR., 8/11/94
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history.
But we all lived in more...

Dubya Quotes
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
...George W. Bush
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
...Governor George W. Bush
"Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
...Governor George W. Bush
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
...Governor George W. Bush, 8/11/94
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
...Governor George W. Bush, 9/15/95
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
...Governor George more...

Things You Wouldn't Know Without The Tube All Of Life's Mysteries Are On TV If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread. It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty. You're likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of you sweetheart more...

"Quaylisms"
"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have
was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse
with those people."
- J. Danforth Quayle
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." - J. Danforth
Quayle
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and
child."
- Vice President Dan Quayle
"Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts." -
Vice President Dan Quayle
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same
distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures
where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that
means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
- Vice President Dan Quayle, 8/11/89
"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is
being very wasteful. How more...