Chains Jokes

Aamir Khan, Vivek Oberoi and Salman Khan die together in an accident and go
to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here
in heaven: Don`t step on the ducks!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their
best to avoid them, Aamir accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter
with the ugliest woman he has ever seen. St. Peter chains them together
and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity
chained to the ugly woman!"
The next day, Vivek Uberoi steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn`t miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for Aamir Khan.
Salman has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all
eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY more...

Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.

Three guys die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven... don't step on the ducks."
So, they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first guy accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman!"
The next day, the second guy steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first guy.
The third guy has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps.
He manages to go more...

Three women die together in an accident
and go to heaven. When they get there,
St. Peter says, "We only have one rule
here in heaven... don't step on the ducks."
So they entered heaven, and sure enough,
there are ducks all over the place. It
is almost impossible not to step on a
duck, and although they try their best
to avoid them, the first woman
accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest
man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them
together and says, "Your punishment for
Stepping on a duck is to spend eternity
chained to this ugly man!" The next
day, the second woman steps accidentally
on a duck, and along comes St. Peter,
who doesn't miss a thing, and with him
is another extremely ugly man. He
chains them together with the same
admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this
and not wanting to be chained for more...

#1 Ropes or chains dear?
#2 Chains tonight!
#1 Leather or rubber?
#2 Rubber and spikes please.
#1 E, amyl, gange or billy?
#2 E and gange please.
#1 K.Y.jelly or Vaseline?
#2 K.Y. please.
#1 Condom?
#2 Naaaaaah!
#1 Ready?
#2 Yes!
#1 Right! Which nightclub shall we go to then?