Change Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:
Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.
Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?
Blonde: Yes.
Operator: The power in the house in on?
Blonde: Of course.
Operator: And the switch is on?
Blonde: Yes, yes.
Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?
Blonde: No, it's working fine.
Operator: Then what's the problem?
Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around, and we all fell and hurt ourselves.
How many cops does it take to change light bulb?
Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
Only one, but he has to see an officer do it first.
Three, one to do it, one to direct traffic and one to say "Show's over, nothing left to see here, folks, move along."
How many LA cops does it take to change light bulb?
Six. One to do it and five to smash the old bulb to splinters.
Q: How many counter-tenors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, and four women to say, "I could have done it better."
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man +smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man +dumb woman =pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss +smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at more...
How many Supreme Court judges does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, she holds the bulb still and the world revolves around her.
How many family law judges does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but two lawyers have to explain how to do it.
Q: How many country & western singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love she is with the new one, and one to go "Yeeeee-Hah !" and throw his hat in the air.